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Women: Friendships, Jealousy, and Insecurities

August 13, 2013

I have been in the Lifestyle Bloggy world for a good two months now. I write about what is going on in my life and how the week/weekend was, but not much about who I am or what I think about things. Today I felt inspired to write, so I thought I would share and little somethin' somethin' about who this crazy azz blonde is behind this blog.

I was talking to my one of my bestest friends Jen the other day and she brought up about how I made her be my friend. I have four best friends (Kelly, Jen, Judy, and Anna). I chose them, they didn't choose me. When I am going to love something - someone, I just know. I get an energy and I just simply know. I'm also happy to say, I have rarely been wrong. I did this with Marquis as well.

Jen is the exact opposite of me. We met in 2006 when we were both cashering at a local grocery store. She is a tiny little soft spoken brunette and here I am this loud and crazy blonde with big hair/big makeup/big ta ta's, and I just fell in love with her. I like people who are opposite of me. 

She thought I was nuts. Most people do before they know me. I have a big crazy personality and you either love it or hate it. Jen didn't really care for me when we first met, but I didn't care. I liked her and I knew we were going to be best friends. I even TOLD her that when I first met her, the first day actually, and she literally replied "yeah... OK." 

And well people, I would just like to say its been 7 years and we are best friends forever. We have been through so much together and had the craziest and best times. I'm the Godmother to her daughter and even 3 hours apart, we spend weekends together all of the time. 



I love to tell her "Told ya so", by the way.

One of my other best friends is Kelly. We both live in Charlotte and OMG I would die without her. She is my diary, my soulmate, and my other half. I met her in 2007. We worked together in this huge Health Insurance call center place (I only lasted 3 months in that hell hole) and as my supervisor was introducing me to my coworkers, I met Kelly. I instantly had a huge girl crush. I thought she was such a hottie. ("I don't care if you're straight or not, anyone can appreciate a good looking woman" - my grandma has always said that. Go grandma.), so I emailed her at work, struck up a friendship, and knew I was going to make her my best friend. She said usually most women hated her and no one has ever been up front about being friends like I have. She does not have girlfriends. To this day, she and I are best friends. We can't even brush out teeth without texting each other about it. We email all day long STILL, we work out together, and share a trillion memories.





This brings me to how I feel about girls and friendship. It drives me in-freakin'-sane when I hear girls say: "LiKE OMG, I toteS onLy HanG OuT wiTh guyS, GiRls ARe SO muCh dRaMA".

Um, no.

How do girls survive without girlfriends? I am straight - engaged to my loving, caring, blah blah blah fiancé, but I love my girlfriends so freaking much - I like watching women succeed, and empowering and supporting them.

Also, I call women hot, beautiful, gorgeous, etc. That's just my personality. I'd also like to say that does not make me a big ole raging lesbo. Who doesn't appreciate a good lookin' woman? If you don't, its probably cause you a hata. I point out hot women for Marquis all of the time. Hell, even at Bodybuilding shows we will pick out our favorite girls on stage. It's a fun game we play. I'm all for "you can look but you can't touch". 

I think a good part of it is security and self actualization. You see, through all of the heartache and my journey I have realized how important is to like me for who I am. To be the foundation of my own happiness. To know that I will never depend on a "man" for my self worth nor hate a woman out of jealousy. And being in the blog land, this really comes into effect. Some of the ladies can craft like nobodies business, take amazing food pictures, wear the best/most expensive fashion, and have the best "hub-a-roo's" (I just threw up) in the world. Good for them you know? Come bring me a craft and take pictures of my culinary goodness while you're at it.

You just have to love you. You have to believe in yourself and be true to who you are. And guess what, even then people aren't going to like you. OK, cool... move on the next. You don't have to be hateful about it. I know I'm not the hottest and most beautiful out there and that is A-OK with me. I see chicks who blow my looks out of the water and I'm all like "You go girl". Jealousy doesn't do any good at all. It just creates the cattiness between women that you hear and read about, and OMG give me a gun, it's so stupid. I may not have Angelina Jolie's looks (now I would turn full blown lesbo for her) but I'm me. I have my unique traits and qualities and I do not need to compare myself to anyone else out there.

So, speaking of friendships, go to my "Join the Party" page, link up, and find some awesome new reads!

Maybe Our Girlfriends Are Our Soulmates And Guys Are Just People To Have Fun With

Um, so, yeah. Girl power!

28 comments

  1. I COMPLETELY agree with this post, chica!! Girls who say they are only friends with guys are honestly missing out! Girlfriends are the best. xo

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  2. Sounds like you have some amazing friends! I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriends!

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  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST! i completely agree that insecure women do not have girlfriends because all the things they hate about themselves are projected outwards, causing mistrust among the female kind. when you are secure in yourself and love who you are, you only have positive things to say/feel and therefore, never have to have your guard up.

    i love my girlfriends. we are 100% in support of whatever we do, never tear each other down and are always there for one another.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  4. You're adorable! Your friends are so lucky to have you :)

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  5. This is a good post, I wrote something similar a while back after receiving a complement from a girl at a restaurant, it totally took my by surprise because its not something girls ever do. I wish I had more girlfriends or better relationships with those I do have.

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  6. I am LOVING you and this post! I love your confidence and your fun personality. Preach it girleee!

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  7. Girlfriends are super important! They are also harder to make as an adult I think, but good for you for being the bold one who will approach others!

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  8. I can't stand when girls say they have no girlfriends, they only hang out with guys! More than likely that's because, like you said, they're a hater! & they cause drama! I don't know what I would do without my girlfriends!

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  9. I agree. I'm a lover, not a hater.

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  10. I posted a while ago about how my husband is not my best friend. You need your girlfriends.

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  11. Gosh, I so agree with this. I think girls say often "i only hang out with guys, girls are so much drama" is well, because its true! we need more people like you in this world. people who dont JUDGE and HATE on others!!! thank you for this awesome post today. :)

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  12. I love this post! I struggle with having friendships with girls a lot of the time as well, but I honestly don't know why! I am not typically a jealous person, and I wouldn't ever think that people are jealous of me, so maybe there's something else, I don't know. But I do agree that a girl should have some solid girlfriends that she can go to for anything... I really wish I had that in my life, and I'm so happy for you that you do!!

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  13. Did my Blogging Sucks post stir your thinkin' pot because this post totally spoke to me. I feel a lot like you do...I'm what some might call "abrasive" - people love it or hate it. But bottom line is, I'm genuine, you get a true friend out of me...if you want fake, I guess you can go somewhere else...if that's yo' thing. LOL. I started following your blog because I like your personality.
    -Morgan
    www.styleoyster.blogspot.com

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  14. There is so much to be said for BFFs. ... Love how you met your "opposite" BFF .. I'd think someone was crazy too if we jsut met and they told I would be their BFF, lol.

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  15. I love this post! Getting to know you has been great and you a real and genuine person. I hate to see when other people especially women tear each other down and/or hash it out online. I just don't get it! Hate and disrespect takes so much energy and is not worth it!

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  16. You sound like someone who would be a blast to hang out with IRL. You're fun and so positive!!

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  17. I love your confidence and wish all the women in the world to feel this way!

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  18. this was such a great post! i hate when girls say "i only have guy friends. i dont deal with girls". your basically saying you wouldnt hang out with yourself! ahahahaha.

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  19. I love this post! You seem like such a sweet and honest person. Sounds like some great friendships too.

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  20. Hey Liz.. I just came across your blog and read this post about girlfriends. You're so right... And my heart is really moved. Especially since I seriously lack in this area. If you were in my country, my city, I'd say let's get together for coffee and chat. IU struggle so do much in this area. I honestly don't know why. Really good, and sincere women friendships are hard to come by because of our tendencies to be hurtful to one another, and form cliques without rally trying to invite others in. I'm glad for you. courage a lot of people, including myself. Thank you!

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  21. I do think some girls are drama - but those are the girls that AREN'T your friends. I agree with you whole-heartedly. Some of my BEST friends I am polar opposites with and the fact that I can count them all on one hand doesn't hurt my feelings...they're REAL.

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  22. loving this post! boys are great, but girlfriends are so important. sometimes you have to work harder at those friendships than you do with relationships.

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  23. loving this post! boys are great, but girlfriends are so important. sometimes you have to work harder at those friendships than you do with relationships.

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  24. so glad I ran across your blog! I love how confident and secure you are.

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  25. I love this post! There should definitely be more people in the world like you!

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