New Year. New You. New Start? The Choice is Yours.

Upon reading posts on Facebook, browsing pins on Pintrests, and seeing pictures on Instagram, I find that that "new years" often makes people cynical. There are those that mock the "new year, new me" mentality, and then there are people who are desperate for it. I see both sides. 

What I believe most about a "new year" is that nothing in your life will change or be different unless you are willing to work for it. Circumstances do not change unless you do.

Here we are six days into 2015. I feel tried. I am worn out from the holidays. Work has been as crazy and hectic as ever; and I find myself stating that constantly. I believe I need to come to the conclusion that is not going to change. Parallel to work, there was copious amounts of travel, lack of sleep, lots of food, and RLS flare-up's. 

I think a lot of us feel worn out from the holidays and sad that they are over. Therefore, a "new year" mentality is just the bit of hope to get one back on track and provide a goal to work and hope for. Right now, I need that. 

But then I remember that everyday is a new start if you give it that power. No matter how many times you have slipped on your diet, said "no" to a workout, bought that purse when you needed to save the money... everyday is another chance to get it right. Everyday is another chance to try again. Do not focus on that bad choices of yesterday, focus on how you can make positive choices today... right now.

That is what I am going to do. I have let loose, enjoyed myself thoroughly, and now I need to get back to work. Life is all about "finding the balance", and I am glad I enjoyed myself and veered off of my normal tightly structured schedule, as it enabled me to breathe and try new things, which also resulted in me missing my structure! For a while I was bored of it... now I crave it. 

This is a new year, and it is bringing an abundance of changes for me-- a big part is sharing my life with someone else now. Which in itself is a fun, new journey, though stressful at times. 

Take control and be kind to yourself. A lot of people are in that "after holiday" slump. Ease into a new routine that implement the changes you want to make in your life. Diving in too hard into those changes can result in drowning yourself -- crashing and burning. Changing a little at a time creates consistency and consistency is what forms habits. That is what your new changes need to become -- a habit, something you always find yourself doing. That is how I lost weight. That is how I fell in love with exercising. That is how I changed the way I look at myself. Those positive changes that resulted into new habits are what make it easier for me to reset my mind and fall back into a healthy structure. 

So, here we go. From my oily, greasy hair that is carelessly thrown into a bun with my coffee stained pants, I say Happy 2015 and let's make it the best yet. 

3 Ways I Help Myself When I Lose My Weigh (Get it?)

The real world has been kicking my butt this week. I am so, so tired. I normally thrive and appreciate the hectic days in my office, but this week they are drowning me. I am normally liberated at new blogging opportunities and posts, but this week they are exhausting me. My mom was in town Monday through yesterday, which helped, and was so nice to have. I let loose a little and enjoyed time with her. 

What has been bothering me most-- a lot of the reason why I am more tired than usual, and why I have had so much trouble sleeping lately is my RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). I was diagnosed in February. I started showing symptoms a year before though, but they were sporadic and did not happen often. At the time, I attributed the symptoms to overworking myself at the gym. 

It feels like ever since I was diagnosed I have issues nearly every night when I get into bed, which is horrible for me because I absolutely love sleep, and I ensure I get plenty of it nightly. It is rare that I let anything interfere with my sleep schedule. For my RLS, I have been on prescribed medication from my doctor as well engaging in a plethora of "home remedies" that my friends and readers have advised to me. Most of the time, that entire combination helps, but sometimes it doesn't. 

Saturday and last night it did not. I was up all night in so much pain. It is so hard to describe the pain to people: it is not an ache or pulled muscle type of pain, it is nerve pain. It is agony to lay still. The only relief I find is when I get up and walk around; which last night I did until 2 in the morning. By then, all of my sleep medication kicked in and knocked me out. Which is great, but I have felt horrible today: fatigued, unable to concentrate, falling asleep at my desk, and my RLS pain is still active. It carried on from the night and is still hurting as I am in my office. I keep getting up to stretch my legs that provides provides relief, but the pain sneaks right back in when I become still. 

Being sleep deprived affects me more than others sometimes. A lot of people are used to it, and their bodies and mind have adjusted. Unfortunately, I am not at that stage. Since I am a very high energy, outgoing, nonstop kind of person, I wear myself out a lot. I have admitted that on here many times. My remedy is sleep. When I am deprived from this, I can maybe be a bit dramatic and overbearing. Hell, I may even act like a 2 year old who needs a nap. I admit it, though. I am not proud. It is just one of my many flaws. 

I was dealing with the sleep deprivation over the weekend and on Monday and now I am back again plowing through it today. When I feel this way, it makes me lose sight of everything. I am a person who has never had balance in their life. It has always been all or nothing. Thus, over the past year, I have been working extensively to teach myself a life balance. 

I have gotten so, so much better, but I am still not where I want to be.

When I find myself slipping and losing my way-- losing vision of my goals, I need motivation to help me get over this internal negativity. 

Below is what I have done to help lately. It may be "over the top" to some, but for me, it's perfect. I am a woman on a mission, I am a woman who is fighting emotional eating, and I am a woman who still has 30 pounds to lose. I am also a woman who is working on improving the way I handle tasks and stress. 

Some of us truly need this extra, grandiose motivation. 

Food Motivation:

Print that picture above (I think the black background and white font just make it so intense and like it's really challenging you) and put it on your refrigerator, near your purse and/or wallet, at your desk-- wherever you need too. 

It may sound silly, but I promise you it works. There is nothing quite like reaching for that slice of chocolate cake after you already had a slice yesterday, and seeing something like that. It ruins the mood. It kills the cravings.

I am all about losing weight the healthy way-- a person needs their occasional bad food and cheat meal(s), however, if you're like me and stress eat, binge when life gets hard, or just have an issue with saying "no" to bad foods more often than you want to admit, something like this will help. It is a reminder of the measures you are taking to try and lose weight and become healthier.

Seeing something that like that puts my journey into perspective for me when a bad day or overbearing food craving start to take over and cloud my judgement.

Exercise Motivation:

I love to exercise. The high that comes from sweating and pushing your body's limits while blasting your favorite music, to me, is indescribable. I absolutely love training. 

But sometimes, my case of the "blah's" after a long day of work or stress, outweigh my my love for exercise. That is when I have to dig deep inside of myself and kick my own ass. Which is unbelievably hard as I am sure most of you know. That is why it can be so difficult to stay motivated.

When this happens, you have to look deep within yourself. It is not easy. This is the number 1 one reason why so many people give up on their weight loss journey: the lack of self-motivation. Motivation cannot be bought. Motivation cannot be taken with a glass of water to start your day each morning. 

Motivation comes from constantly cheering yourself on and making yourself mentally stronger. That is why I think the above picture is perfect to print and keep for those days when you lose sight, and most importantly, when you lose hope.

• I started because everyday I could not look in the mirror without crying.
• I would shower with the lights off because my naked body disgusted me. 
• I started because I was in Target trying on a size 18 in pants that did not fit and I broke down. 
• I started because I felt so tired all of the time. 
• I started because my passion and work ethic for life dissipated on a daily basis..
• I started because I wanted to FEEL good about myself.

When I remember how bad I used to feel, and how desperately I wanted to change, it helps me push on. I may be weary, I may be cussing and crying, but I push on. 

Eventually, you reach the finish line. You pushed yourself: you made healthy choices, and you attended that workout you so vehemently wanted to miss. That is when everything changes. The endorphin's are pumping, your confidence is built back up, and you now how the strength to keep going. 

Goal Motivation

There is nothing that makes a journey so real than seeing what you could be-- what you WILL be. One thing I have done for years now and continue to do, is carry pictures of my favorite fitness inspirations; be it on my phone, on my refrigerator, desk, or somewhere in my home. My two favorite women are Ava Cowan and Pauline Nordin. They remind me that what I want is possible if I work hard enough. When my passion for fitness began in late 2008, those two women stood out to me more in the magazines than anyone else. I have been inspired ever since. 

If they can do it, damn it, so can I. They are women and I am a woman. It's simple-- if I put in the work and dedication, I will get the same results.

My Story of (and how you can avoid) Exercise Addiction

Finding and living with a balance in regards to weight loss, no matter how much or little, is what my blog and mission is all about. Since I have battled such extensive self-esteem and weight issues all of my life, I have been at the end of both extremes: exercising way too much or not much at all. 

When I first started exercising at 13 years old, my step-mom told me that if I stuck with it, I would hate not exercising -- that it would feel odd and not right to miss days. Initially, I thought she was crazy and there way no way that could happen.

However, it absolutely did. Two weeks into regular exercise, I was in love and a brand new hobby that I enjoyed immensely was developed. Being that young though, I did not understand the importance of resting my body and switching up workouts. I battled this problem until I was about 22 years old. 

If I missed a scheduled workout, my world crumbled. If I was sick and I had a workout planned, I would still go. If I was invited to a party, event, festival, etc. and it interfered with the gym and working out, I would never go. If I planned a rest day because I was very store and/or tired, a few hours into the afternoon and evening, I would be driving myself crazy, then end up going to the gym. I had to exercise; if I didn't, all of my hard work would come undone by missing that single workout. 

That is unbelievably dramatic and most of all false, but that was how my mind worked. I was an extremist, and I am still fighting that to this day. I was either all in at 120% or at negative 120%. If I missed that planned workout for some reason, I would cry and refuse to go out or be seen because of how disgusting I felt. At times, I would cancel plans to go with my friends because I had missed my workout and felt I did not deserve to go out. I felt by missing that workout, I had put on 20 pounds. 

When I put on the significant amount of weight at end of 2012 and throughout most of 2013, I knew when I lost weight for the second time, I had to dig exceptionally deep inside of myself and tackle all of my food, exercise, and self-esteem issues that I had been suppressing for so long; not resolving. 

If you feel yourself  or you know someone feeling this way about exercise and working out, this post is for you. 

The first thing I had to realize is that I did not put all of my weight on overnight and I was definitely not going to lose it that soon. It is much easier to gain weight than lose weight; which is why so much of the United States is obese. Fat loss is achieved by being consistent. You are still consistent if a workout is missed. Learning your body is the best thing you can do for yourself. You may have your workouts scheduled for the entire week, then after a couple of them, you are more sore than you thought. When it is a hurting kind of sore, you absolutely need to rest your body so the muscles can repair. Another extremely important thing to teach yourself is the difference between "tired" and "fatigued". The days where you feel "ugh, I so don't feel like working out, I'm tired", you absolutely should still exercise. However, if you are chronically tired, feeling overly sluggish throughout the day, and having a hard time staying focused or motivated, that is usually your body begging for rest to recover. 

Below could be signs of over-exercise: 

• excessive weight loss -- this is usually muscle, not fat
• undernourishment
• menstruation problems in women
• fatigue
• isolation and weakened social relationships
• irritability
• frequent injuries

There are consequences to over exercising. The body can enter a catabolic state, in which muscle (NOT fat) tissues are broken down to fuel immediate needs. In short: muscle is burned and the fat is stored. Additionally, one can develop microscopic tears in muscle fibers,; which if unable to repair because of extreme exercise is still being continued, could lead to permanent injuries. Immune systems are actually weakened from over-exercise, which is why when I would still workout when I was sick, I would take significantly longer to heal. Other issues are bone problems, especially in women, and insomnia. 

Weight loss is hard. It is simple, but very hard. It requires dedication and consistency, but it is also absolutely imperative that someone have a balance while trying. You can drive yourself crazy if you don't. You can miss out so much in life if you don't. Being fit and healthy should be lifestyle; not your entire life. As I always like to say and remember, and what helps me often times is that yes I may mess up - especially lately, but every second I am alive, it's a chance for me to get it right. If I had a cupcake yesterday after having my cheat meal the day before, there is nothing I can do it about now. It's done. But I can make a healthy choice today. I can push harder on my training. I can ensure I eat enough to fight cravings.

This journey is all about learning to believe in yourself and know that if you just keep going and trying, the results you want will happen. 

I am now 11 months into my weight loss journey. I wanted to be at a 90 pound loss at this time, however, I am at 65 pounds. I am disappointed, I will not lie and say that I am not, but I know the journey can still be continued. I am alive today, I am healthy today, and that means I can keep going and pushing myself and my 100 pound weight loss goal will absolutely be achieved. 

These posts may also help and are closely related to this issue:

• What happens when your weight loss journey gets too hard?
• Battling My Food Addiction and Emotional Eating
• How to Break Through a Weight Loss Plateau

My passion is not dead... it's just sleeping?

I think for the first time since I started blogging 16 months ago, I have writers block. This white screen for writing that I normally find so liberating and fun, is currently exhausting and demanding. I absolutely hate feeling this way. I'm fine, though. I am not overly happy, but I am not sad. I am thankful I am not feeling with the pain and depression that ensued for a big part of this year, but I do not feel back to myself at 100%. 

I have to be honest when I say my motivation is lacking. My weight loss started to really stall in August after months and months of a steady decline. Combine that with work stress and the nagging heartache that would just not go away, and I felt myself losing everything but fat. I still have not gotten back into my "groove" and schedule with clean eating and training. I absolutely love exercise, but I have been "eh" lately. My food has been boring to me and I haven't wanted it; therefore I have been "cheating" a lot more. I just changed gyms. I have had a lot going on at work. Since all of that has ensued, I find myself bored, empty, and numb. Like I said, I am not necessarily sad, I just feel myself not caring about anything. That isn't like me at all. 

Now that my emotions and heart have healed and I can see a little more clearly, I find myself in a rut. I am bored. "Blah" is probably the word of the month for me. I am craving something to make me feel alive... to give me an adventure...to help bring my passion for life and fitness that I have always had. Who is this girl that is feeling this way? It certainly is not me.

I am in a big growing pain. I believe the term for what I have experienced this year is a "quarter life crisis". After all, I am 25 years old now.

I am not exactly sure what to do to rid this prolonged case of the "Monday's" that feel permanently instilled in my mind right now. Normally at this point, I am making an extensive plan to get over whatever is bringing me down, but not this time. The reason being is because I am not sure what could help this. 

I am just going to take it one day at a time. That is all I have to offer right now; and hopefully by putting one foot in front of the other, life will get back to normal. 

I do know that I absolutely have to do better with my food choices and training. I feel so damn good when I execute my nutrition and exercise plan; I just have to suck up my "ugh, I don't feel like it" because I know I have to get the rest of this weight off. It will depress the life out of me if I don't. I also know that once I force myself to adhere to my plan for a couple of days, it starts becoming a norm to me. It is hard for the first few days, but then it evens out and I feel great and remember why this is my passion.

I hate writing posts like this and I feel like over the past couple of months I have written at least one or two a month, but I have vowed to be honest on my blog. Sometimes it embarrasses me, but it helps me understand and acknowledge my feelings; which is the first step to change. Simply put, this year has been so, so hard on me, filled with so many struggles from family to love and everything in between.

But I know that I am a strong person. I am humble, I am honest, and I am always willing to grow and learn. Therefore I will pull through this. Right now I taking life one day at a time and doing the best I can. I am doing better... not nearly as good as I want to be, but I am better than I was a few weeks ago. My passion is not dead, it's just sleeping. And I for one, am ready for it to wake up. 

The Most Effective Types of Cardio

I have 30 pounds left to lose until I am finally at my fitness goal. It has been a long 11 months of work, but I am ecstatic to have made such huge changes in my life. However, over the past 2 months or so, my weight loss journey my loss has been stagnant. I had other issues that needed my attention so I had to shift my focus for a bit. That is how it goes though; that's life. We are going to face immense ups and downs along the way, but no matter what, one must keep trying; one must keep pushing on. Giving up is never, ever an option. 

As I dedicate myself back to the way I need to train and eat, it is important to make the most out of every single workout I have. I usually do 45 minutes of cardio a day with my specific workout. Since I engage in cardio everyday, as most people do, it can be easy to get bored with it and not push myself as hard. Today I wanted to share a few of the different types of cardio training I engage in.

High Intensity Interval Training (H.I.I.T) is also referred to as "sprint intervals". This type of cardio training is an exercise strategy that alternates periods of short intense intervals with less intense recovery intervals. Basically, you push yourself to the limit for X amount of time, then rest (while still exercising) for an even shorter amount, then repeat. This is without a doubt one of the best types of cardio training to burn fat and lose weight. You not only improve your body, but your heart. Because intervals are alternated so rapidly, the heart is in a constant state of work and pumping, which causes it to strengthen. This type of training also improves a persons metabolism and because of the intensity, a long duration of exercise is not necessary. 

Examples (20 minute durations):

--Stairmill: 2 minutes work: 130 SPM (Steps-per-minute) then 1 minute rest: 60 SPM. Repeat

--Inclined walk: 2 minutes work: 3.5 speed with 10 incline, then 1 minute rest: 3.4 speed with no incline. Repeat 

--Running: 1 minute of sprinting as fast as you can then 1 minute slow walk

You can also engage in H.I.I.T by doing mountain climbers, jumping jacks, jump squats, etc. for X amount of time then a slow walk for the rest period. Equipment is not always necessary, therefore this training can be done anywhere! 

Endurance training is a great way to improve strength and overall stamina. This is not just for people who want to run marathons; this is a great type of cardio training for anyone, as overall improved stamina helps with everything health and fitness related. Endurance allows people to work out at a certain intensity or for an extended amount of time. The better a persons endurance is, the longer they can exercise without stopping and slowing down. This type of cardio training should be challenging, but not to the point of maxing out your heart rate like a sprint would. This type of cardio is done for a longer period of time, with the heart rate staying at a certain rate. This is hard because after a certain amount of time, you will become tired and want to slow, but don't as that is how one builds their body's endurance; by pushing through at staying at the same rate of work, even though the body is growing tired. 

Examples:

--For me, on the Elliptical, resistance is hard me at level 13. It's tough for me to keep my usual speed at that level. Therefore when I endurance train, I would set the resistance at 13 (where it starts to get tough for me) and ensure I keep my speed at a good pace to where the entire workout is a challenge. I will not change my speed or resistance this entire training. This duration could vary from 30-60 minutes.

--I can swiftly run for about 30 minutes straight without feeling tired or out of breath. To challenge myself and build endurance, I would set my workout for a 40 minute run, then gradually increase the pace of the run as well as the time as my body and system strengthens. 

This type of cardio is a low intensity type of training done for a long period of time. It is slow, easy, and long, and one should be able to converse comfortably during. It is ideal for someone who is just beginning to exercise on a regular basis, recovering from a sickness and/or surgery, or someone who is obese and/or severely overweight. It can provide a reasonable amount of caloric and fat loss, but will not aid  as effective in a "total body transformation" such as building muscle.

Examples:

--1+ hour walk in a park or beach

--Afternoon bike ride

Cross-training involves alternating pieces of cardio equipment within different periods of time. This is a great way to keep variety in your cardio workout: the time generally seems to go by fast and since you are alternating equipment and not on one machine for a prolonged period of time, it is essentially easier to keep endurance up and push hard. Cross training cardio is effective for boosting metabolism, burning fat, and building endurance. This workout should be moderately challenging for the entire duration. When I do cross-training, I do the hardest piece of cardio first and the easiest last; that way I have the most energy for the first one and get the most out of my training. 

Example:

--4 different pieces of equipment for 10 minutes each. 

My favorite combination:

Incline walk: 3.5 speed, 7 incline

StairMill: 70 SPM

Jog: 7.0 speed

Elliptical: 10 resistance, 9 incline

Let's Chat: All About The Week

Happy almost Friday! I am so happy it's Thursday evening, my body is aching. This week was absolutely exhausting.  It was all about 12 and 14 hour work days: meetings upon meetings, lunches, visitors, client dinners, and assisting my President (which is part of my normal duties, it was just escalated this week). It was a ton of work because I organized the agendas, meetings, and meals, then attended it all as well. I rocked high heels all week, too! My feet are killing me. I have to say though, now that it's over, I feel accomplished and proud. I truly love our weeks that are a bit chaotic like that.

Monday morning, I went to purchase drinks and refreshments for the week. Of course with my luck, the flood gates of heaven opened, and I was out in it all day. Wednesday evening I had a strategic planning dinner meeting. I was able to pick the place. We went to a restaurant called "131 Main". I had never tried it, but really wanted too. Simply put, it was great. I am still salivating over my meal! I had a delicious pear martini and the best, juiciest, and most tender steak. The mashed baby reds were phenomenal too. If you are ever in Charlotte, you must try it.

Last week I lost 2 pounds! That brought my total to a 62 pound loss since November 25th. However, I am sure after this week, I gained the 2 pounds back, ha. I was a little off schedule with working long hours, missing the gym some, and eating off of my plan. That's life though and it will happen. I just have to be flexible, find a balance, and always get back on track -- which I do. Tuesday night was one of the evenings I did not have to go to a dinner meeting so I went to the gym per usual. For some reason, I had the BEST work out I have had in a LONG time. I did 30 minutes on the StairMill alternating between 65 SPM and 90 SPM-- I even threw in a couple of sprint intervals at 160 SPM. I did my usual upper body weight circuit, backsquats, then I did a mile and a half of sprint intervals in our indoor track. 

The sprint intervals were the icing on the cake. I ran track in high school. My short, muscular legs were of good use for speed running. I was a fast runner. I never sprint anymore though. When I was heavier, it hurt too much, so I just left it alone. I forgot how high sprinting makes me feel. I literally pushed through my sprints like I was running for my life... and it was incredible. I knew I would not be able to workout Wednesday, so I made sure I pushed myself with a vengeance. Wednesday I was sore. Today I am deathly sore! Talk about hurt so good. The craziest part is that my lower abs were the sorest of all. Running really uses your core so I was happy to be that sore. My core is weak. My legs were also screaming. I couldn't train I was so sore. Delayed onset muscle soreness was in full effect. I will absolutely be incorporating sprints in my weekly training routine now. Lesson learned!

My birthday is Wednesday! I will officially be the big 2-5, which in my opinion, is a pretty big milestone! I will be a quarter of a century old. I will not longer be in my early 20's. I will be 5 years away from 30. Holy crap, where does the time go? I swear yesterday I was boarding a plane for California for my 21st birthday. Since my birthday is Wednesday, my mom came down today and is staying until Sunday. We got the celebrations started early! We went to Kohls and I got a super cute pair outfit: a pair of faded jeans with holes and a fun black tank. After, we went to one of mama's favorite restaurants in Charlotte, "City Tavern". I sipped on a delicious Cosmo, she had her usual Sangria, and as we were leaving, my waiter gave us a piece of chocolate cake for my birthday! We were stuffed so it is in the fridge now. 

Every once in a while, I like to promote my good blog friends, sponsors, and/or anyone else that sticks out to me. I happen to have a few amazing sponsors this month who definitely deserve to be recognized. Please head over to their blog, say hello, and make a new friend. Also, on Wednesday I updated my advertising page, so if you have a blog and/or business and you would like to work together, let's talk!

Maegen. My good friend and former co-worker at Urban Active Fitness. She is a beauty queen (in my eyes and in a lot of pageants eyes as well, ha!) but she is so, so, much more than that. I was really happy a few months ago when she told me she started a blog for one of her classes. Luckily, she still writes even though the class has ended. Maegen writes about a lot of social issues that we as women have to endure in today's world. The standard definition of beauty, unrealistic expectations, and pressures of today's media. We are so much more than our outer appearance, and Maegen's mission to make sure every woman knows that. I am all about empowering women -- I am a total girl's girl, so I want to support and help her every way I can. 

Another inspiring blogger is Jessica. Her blog is named Healthy is Happy. How true is that, by the way? Healthy is happy. Healthy is beautiful. She is really fun to follow because with her, you get a little of everything. She is hardworking, dedicated, and passionate. She is also fun and easygoing. You get inspiring fitness ideas and her journey, along with glimpses into other parts of her life. Not to mention all kinds of business and blog information -- which is personally my favorite. You have to check her out; there is a TON to see and learn from her and her blog.

My girl, Trace. This girl is either going to inspire the hell out of you or make you really jealous. She is plugging away at her fitness and weight loss journey, and every time I see a new picture on Instagram or a new blog post, I am amazed. She really is giving this her all, made it a lifestyle, and has stayed immensely dedicated. Heck, I feel like I am going through her journey with her now. She has stayed that consistent and it has been awesome seeing her transform. She is a great friend of mine with positive energy that is contagious, and watching her succeed and lose weight keeps me motivated as well. She is definitely someone you want to get to know. 

Join the fun Friday linkup's here!

How to Break Through a Weight Loss Plateau

Every man and woman's fear when it comes to losing weight? The inevitable plateau. Most people will experience this, especially if one has a significant amount of weight they want to lose. When you find yourself staggering on dropping fat and pounds, it's time extensively reevaluate your habits and routines. Breaking through a weight loss plateau is not easy. It requires honesty and an escalated work effort. If you find yourself in this position, it means that it's time to change things up. Choices and actions need to become different. Often times people are resistant to change, but that is how we learn and grow-- change in weight loss is no different.
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself entering a weight plateau. I lost 55 pounds in a 7 month period. To some, that may seem slow and not great, but to me, it was. I felt fantastic because 7 months ago I was in a bad state with my life: I was very obese, I ate my feelings, and I lost my passion for the gym. By one day deciding I had enough of feeling sluggish and tired, I changed my life. Through hard work, clean eating, and exercise, I dropped weight - all on my own. I wanted to average 1-2 pounds a week. By not losing weight so fast, I could eliminate sagging skin and really embed good eating and exercises habits into my life. The longer I stay on my weight loss journey, the more it would become a part of me and my daily routine. 
For the first 7 months, it went great. I was steadily dropping every single week. However, it is important to remember, the bigger and more body fat a person has, the faster weight will start to drop. Once a person becomes thinner and thinner, the body does not drop fat and weight as fast. I knew going into this that eventually the 3-5 pounds a week would slow down. It still hurt when it happened though. 
Over the past 2 weeks, I have been pushing through my plateau and hit the 60 pound loss mark this past Friday. When I started this past November, I estimated that my weight loss journey would take a year. My goal is a 80-85 pound loss, which I hope to hit sometime in October instead of November. If I want to do that, it's important that I keep busting through any plateaus I encounter and not get "too comfortable". 

Being honest with yourself is the absolute first step in breaking through a plateau. When I was personal training, a lot of times my clients would come up to me frustrated and mad because they weren't losing weight. They stated that they were following my nutrition and training regimen verbatim, but were not seeing results. However, when we sit down to extensively go over their schedule and actions from the prior week, we found that was not the case. I would hear "Oh yeah, I did have a few drinks with dinner that night", "Oh, I forgot we went out for ice-cream that night". "My daughter was sick so I missed the gym 2 days that week", etc. Those little things eventually add up. If you are encountering a plateau, grab a notebook or your laptop and write down ways you have been slipping and not following your plan. If you cannot be brutally honest with yourself, you are not going to grow and make any positive changes.
What I did in my case: I was cheating a little more than normal. I still have a good amount of weight I want to lose, so I am not at the more lax "maintaining" stage where my nutrition is more flexible. Like I started above, the little treats, even a cookie or two, everyday, were adding up. Because I have been trying so hard for well over half a year now to lose weight, I was growing a tired of being so strict. I would say "I have done so well, so eating this be OK". However, those words are what led me down a path of destruction last year, so I immediately shut off that way of thinking.  
It was important to me to understand why I am at this plateau. Why was I craving bad foods more? Why am I giving in and derailing off of my plan more and more? I needed to be brutally honest. I was becoming overwhelmed with stress. I pushed myself to my breaking point. Working long hours, training hard at the gym, blogging, writing a book, keeping up with my apartment, running errands and life necessities, car problems, and traveling back and fourth to my hometown a lot more than normal because of family issues made me crash and burn. I am very active and extremely high energy, but it was becoming too much. I let all of this continue on until it broke me. When it broke me, that is when my behavior and coping mechanism with food would start to creep in. That is also when negative feelings over my breakup from many months ago started to surface. It was like Pandora's box opened when I cracked from all of the work and stress. Then I had to determine if I was really sad over the situation or was I sad because I was mentally exhausted?
I was honest with myself, understood my feelings that led to these actions and circumstances, then got to work on overcoming them.

This is probably the biggest component to break through a weight loss plateau. Which in my opinion, sucks. Jump start and recharge your body by eating natures treats. It's simple. Get back to the basics. One can never have too many dark green vegetables-- add those whenever you can. Smoothies, side dishes, casseroles-- the possibilities are endless. Spinach, kale, broccoli, zucchini are some of my favorite items. Also, add raw fruit - no canned or extra sugary juices with them. Fruits are great sources of energy, vitamins, and craving crushers. Do not deprive yourself from them. Limit carbohydrate intake to complex and fiber. Complex carbs are used by your body, not stored as fat or turned into sugar. Fiber is absolutely essential to well-being and weight loss, and studies show that most adults do not get enough. Click here for complex carbohydrate food choices. Stay hydrated and consume enough water. Sometimes you may think you are hungry, when in actuality you have not drank enough water. Ensure you are eating enough lean protein. Protein is what keeps a person full, aids in growing and recovery muscle, and a great energy source. If I am hitting a plateau, my main source of foods are lean proteins, fruits, and lots of green vegetables. 
What I did in my case: I add more vegetables whenever I can. If I am making eggs, I would add spinach and kale. If I was making a protein smoothie, I would add spinach and kale. I would have broccoli as a side.  I used zucchini as a "noodle replacement" for spaghetti. I would add extra lean protein such a chicken or turkey to my meals. I drank a lot of water and Powerade Zero for taste and a craving crusher. I always eat 6 small meals a days; which keep me from getting too hungry and keep me "satisfied" when I eat. I do not get overly full and if I still feel slightly hungry after I eat, I would just tell myself that I am eating again in another 2-3 hours, so I would be fine. I cut all alcohol except maybe 1 cocktail a week. 
Other tips:

• Do not use iceberg lettuce for salads, it basically has no nutritional value. Spinach is a much better "leaf" to use as a salad base. 
• Always add a vegetable as a side with a meal.
• Walnuts and almonds are fantastic sources of essential fats and energy! I love almonds for an afternoon "pick me up".
• Use spices and herbs for taste NOT dressings or oils.
• Cut sweet cravings with fresh fruit, sugar free flavored gums (there are a plethora of flavors available now), and sugar free flavored water options-- my personal favorite is Powerade Zero which has electrolytes. 
• Mix vegetables in your dishes if you do not like consuming them as they are. I do this if I am making eggs, healthy pasta and dip recipes, protein smoothies, and even breads. You can really add vegetables to anything! 

This is another must! must! must! to break one's plateau. I even have to state, that the importance of this is trailing right up behind your diet. I love the concept of "muscle confusion" and wholeheartedly believe in it because I have seen and felt it work. Do you ever notice how sore you after you engage in an activity that you have either never done before or haven't in a long time? That is because you are working muscles in a way they aren't used too. Which in turn burns a lot of calories because the body is working so hard. 
Even if you do exercise on a regular basis, this still heavily applies to you. One can go to the gym day after day, become content in their regular routine, and not push themselves as hard. It's understandable. The gym may be a part of your everyday routine and you're comfortable. That is when you need to switch things up- make your body push harder, the workouts more challenging, and add more variety. 
What I did in my case: I love to exercise. It is my favorite hobby. I workout 6 days a week, almost all of that being at my gym. It becomes routine and almost robotic going to the gym everyday after work. 
Sometimes I would have those life changing workouts where I felt I could take on the world, then sometimes I would have those workouts where I walked away saying "at least I went". I was becoming content and comfortable. I knew my body needed to be pushed more. I decided to change my workouts and up the intensity and resistance. 

• When lifting weights, I increased the weight. For example: I normally do dumbbell curls with 15 pounds. For the first two sets, I would still use that weight, but then the last set would be 17.5 pounds. Even adding weight to your last set for each different exercise can make a big impact on your muscles.
• I upped the resistance on all of my cardio. I normally "worked" at 85 SPM on the StairMill, so I made it 90. I normally set the resistance at 10 on the Elliptical so I bumped it up to 11. I would push myself to work at a faster speed as well. 
• I changed my workouts: I did Bikram yoga last week and I am going boxing tomorrow. I also went hiking Sunday as well. After hiking for the first time in 4 weeks on Sunday, I couldn't walk Monday. Now my legs feel fantastic.

It is irrefutable that being strong mentally is the key to lose weight, live healthy, and change your life. Your body will do whatever your mind tells it. Your mind is the source of motivation. Are you hitting a plateau because you're not happy? Are you too stressed? Are you exhausted? Are you suppressing feelings? Are you overworked? Make sure you understand how you're feeling internally because you could be burning yourself out. If a person becomes too stressed, the body will cling onto fat.
What I did in my case: This was huge for me because I know part of my plateau was stemming from being emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. I was keeping myself too busy. I could not sleep at night because my mind would not turn off. I was suppressing feelings that I wanted to ignore by keeping myself overly active, and if you pretend or ignore issues that need to be addressed or resolved, you are going to eventually break.
That is when I decided to take a step back. I took time off from blogging, I went to bed 1-2 hours earlier, I did things that brought me peace like meditating, reading, and playing the guitar. I slowed down with tasks, errands, and plans that I made for myself. I allowed myself to mentally and emotionally heal so I could feel happy and strong again. It was the hardest "funk" I have ever had to pull myself out of, but with a strong will, it can happen. I am still amazed that I am not waking up in tears. I was becoming numb and accustom to it. 

• Get plenty of sleep each night. Rest is essential to repair your body and mind.
• Relax before bed so you're able to sleep better; read a book, meditate, drink a decaffeinated hot sea, take a hot bubble bath, solve a crossword puzzle, etc.
• Address any problems or stress in your life. Stress will add more fat and weight to your body than you realize. If you mentally in a bad place, nothing will do right. 

If you want something, you will make time for it. It is just that simple. Do not dismiss the power and good of writing in a journal and documenting your nutrition and workouts. The best I have ever done with losing weight was when I would journal. By doing this, your evidence is in front of you. If something is not adding up, you always have notes to look back on. Keep track of your cheats - you may see that you accidentally slipped 3 days in a row and that caused you to not lose any weight that week. You can see that one day you did 45 minutes of cardio but the next two, you only did 20. Keeping a journal will keep you on track. Plus it gives you the ability to look back and see just how far you have come. To me, it became a challenge. I noticed on Monday, I did a resistance of 10, so Tuesday I wanted to do a higher resistance. I became my own competition. 
What I did in my case: I planned my meals complete with their nutritional content, as well as writing my training regimen in detail. I knew I needed to keep my intensity up, and putting it on paper and admitting if I did or did not really helped. It kept me accountable. If I ate bad, I had to write it. This way I monitored my behavior and habits. This kept me within my daily caloric range and organized so I was always ready. 

• Write your meal plan and grocery list in a notebook, phone, tablet, etc.
• Record your daily caloric intake as well as your foods
• Plan your workouts - write if you achieved them as you set out to.
• Write your proud moment of the day. If you feel accomplished about something, write it down so you always have that feeling to look back on and remember.
• Write your challenges -- what held you back that day? What brought you down? How are you going to overcome it? What can you do to be better? 

I am still a work in progress, but I can tell you, I have implemented these 5 tips immensely over the past 2 weeks and I lost 5 pounds. It was 5 pounds of pure fat too-- which is the best feeling in the world. It can hard to push through a plateau, but also quite fun. Because a plateau just means that you are getting stronger and you body wants to become more challenged. Challenges make us grow... challenges make us better.

Weight Loss Fads I Do Not Follow

One thing I have learned about people while on my weight loss journey, as a Personal Trainer, and as a blogger who not only writes, but loves to read other blogs is: a lot of people are looking for a "quick fix" when it comes to losing weight. They go crazy over a new product that has become available as it promises to deliver a miracle, they can do something for only 5 days and drop 10 pounds, etc. When I was younger, I fell victim to a few of these, but I quickly learned that nearly everything is a gimmick.

If you want to lose a significant amount of weight and live a happy, healthy life, you need to fall in love with clean eating and regular exercise. Executing those two things are what guarantees a life of being fit. I will add this disclaimer that every persons body is different; what works for one person, may not work for someone else. You may love doing some of the "fads" that I don't; that is fine too! My writings, research, and opinions are not the only way to do things. "Different strokes for different folks".

1) Juicing

I like this idea if you do this naturally to get in more fruits and/or vegetables. If you have a juicer at home and you put fresh produce in there, make your own, and have it WITH a meal, I think juicing is fine. I would not use it in place of eating vegetables and fruits though. Juicing as weight loss, meal replacements, and/or to "cleanse" you, I do not believe is a good idea. Juicing all of your fruits and vegetables takes away a lot of nutrients; the skin is where an abundance of those are found. Furthermore, a diet of only "juicing" slows down your metabolism. Your body needs proper fuel to burn fat and provide energy. Juicing lacks significant amounts of protein, fat, carbohydrates, and fiber. Juicing alone cannot provide all of those nutrients. When a person starts significantly depriving themselves of those, the body shuts down to prevent itself from going into "starvation mode". The body begins burning muscle and storing fat. Then once your juice cleanse is over and you are back to eating regular, solid food, your body has a slower time digesting it and using it as expendable energy. Juicing is expensive from what I have found and can add a ton of unnecessary sugar. Your body has a colon and kidney's that "cleanse" your body, you do not need a "juice" to do that for you. Eat proper foods and exercise - that cleanses. 

2) No Carbs

I hate how carbohydrates have such a bad reputation. When I first started my weight loss journey, I told you guys how I researched and had notebooks full on information that I was finding. I not only wanted to lose weight, I wanted to learn and understand my body. I saw a lot of "low carb" diets and how it was the best way to lose weight. I thought I would try it and I did. I was miserable. How bad my mood was, was just the tip of the iceberg, plus I exercise far too much to deprive my body of essential carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are broken down into three different types: sugar, fiber, and starch. Simple carbohydrates are the delicious yet unhealthy types of carbohydrates to consume - a big base of those are sugar and starch. Complex carbohydrates such as fiber are essential for well-being, digestion, and energy. Carbohydrates provide a thermogenic effect that will increase calorie burning. The carbohydrates standard role is to be our MAIN source of energy and/or "fuel". Carbohydrates are also kind of like the "partner" for protein. This is called "protein sparing". The protein sparing effect conserves protein for muscle tissue, and expends carbohydrates for energy. Carbohydrates protect the protein you consume from being converted to glucose (sugar) to serve as an energy source when glycogen and plasma glucose levels decrease. Depriving your body of essential carbohydrates over a long period of time causes major stress on one's liver. The liver has to manufacture glucose from fats and proteins. Ammonia is produced as proteins are converted into glucose, which can be toxic to the immune system and cell function. Carbohydrates are especially essential to anyone who exercises heavily, athletes, etc. If you are not as active, high(er) carbohydrate intake is not necessary, but you still need to consume them. Consumption just needs to be the right items. See below for a list of complex carbohydrates.  

3) Fully relying on squats

I have always had big legs and a big butt; even when I was a child. Part of it is definitely genetics and part of it was growing up taking gymnastics and dancing. I hated my big legs and butt growing up, but now I am different, thankfully! I love my big booty and it is my favorite part on me physically. I love working my legs and glutes to the core. I always plan my leg workouts the day before my rest day from the gym. Most days I can't walk after my leg workouts! However, squats are not the be all, end all. I did not start regularly squatting until May of 2013. My butt was built on high incline walks (seriously high inclines are the best), heavy leg press, hip thrusts (definitely do these, they are more glute focused than squats), walking lunges, leg extension, leg curls, and and plyometric workouts. Squatting is an awesome exercise and I love to do it (specifically back squats), but it will not make you nor will it break you. That is kind of like buying a sports car, but it only coming with an engine. The engine is very important, but you need other parts of the car to make it run. Same with glutes and legs.

   

4) Cardio only - no weight training

This makes me give the "side eye" more than anything. "Lifting makes you big and bulky! I only want to do cardio!". People want to "tone up", what do you think toning up is? It is muscle!



First off my arms are hands down the worst part of my body. Guys I hate my arms - I want to love every part of me, but my arms? No way. They are slowly... so slowly... getting smaller, but I think they make me look so much bigger than what I am. They did not start improving until I started adding muscle. Lifting heavier and 3 times a week is what is helping shape my arms and make them smaller. Clean eating is the root of course, but when I really dedicated myself to lifting weights, that is when I started to see a difference. Woman do not naturally have nearly the testosterone that men do. Therefore, we will not get "huge" by lifting weights like they can. Sure if you artificially inject testosterone into your body, women can get huge, but not by clean eating and weight lifting. Adding muscle mass to your body burns more calories when you are at rest. Cardio is great, you burn fat and calories while you are engaging in your activity, but once you stop, it's over. However that is not the case with weight lifting. Your body continues to burn calories even after you finish. Muscle is metabolically active tissue. Growing older leads to your bones decreasing in density and becoming more brittle - especially in women. By doing regular strength training, research has proven that you can both increase your bone density and work to prevent osteoporosis. Weight training enhances performance in cardiovascular activity. How awesome is that? Add muscle to your body by weight lifting, which burns calories at rest, and assists in burning extra calories while you do your cardio workouts. You are stronger therefore can go harder and longer which melts fat away from your body. No matter how old I get or what type of fitness activities I get into, I will always be in the gym lifting my weights!

[Update] I received a few personal emails and comments from women who want to lift weights but are aren't sure how to start, what to do, they're intimidated, scared, etc. I will write a post about how I started weight lifting with tips, ideas, and advice for you guys! I will have that up within the next 2 weeks. 

How to Plan Your Meals and Food Prep!

Food prep is one of my top priorities in regards to my health and weight loss. Prepping food keeps me organized, never without a meal, saves time and money, and keeps me on track. "Winging it" when it comes to your meals is not something I recommend anyone doing if they are trying to lose weight and life a clean, healthy lifestyle. 

It took a bit of trial and error, like everything I do in life. You will get better at this once you keep you doing it. For example: I like carbohydrates at night. Thus I schedule more carbs then than I do during the day. Sometimes people think I am crazy. However, I know me and I know my body. Consuming complex carbohydrates in the evening has never caused me to gain weight, ever. I have been eating carbohydrates almost every evening since I started my new weight loss journey in November of 2013 and I am down almost 45 pounds. I train extremely hard in the evenings so when I finish, I need my carb fix. Carbs keep me full, cut cravings, and help me sleep better. You may be different. You may find you want to switch your meals and their times - it is all about what works for you most all of, keeps you satisfied.

Believe it or not; food planning is simple.

What I do:

1) I always have my planner. I love this thing. It's a $10 one from Target.

2) Decide what I want my meals to be. You can see those written in the blue marker. I write them out and which meal number I want it to be.

3) List the certain ingredients I want the meal to contain.

4) Put a check mark by the items I already have it at home and will not have to purchase.

5) Make a grocery list on the oppsoite side. 

6) Designate a day to cook everything - except my dinners. Most times I make those nightly.

7) Put everything in tupperware. Grab and go; heat and eat.

Side note: I do not include fruits and vegetables as part of my daily caloric intake. I consider those "freebie's". I know fresh fruits can contain natural sugars but those have never deterred me from losing weight. I view those as natural energy and craving busters. 

I also do this with my workouts and training regimen. It is just as important to plan my workouts as it is my food. I do not write all of the details in my planner as I have a detailed "Weekly Nutrition and Training Plan" I share with you guys.

Lastly, I do this with my finances. Purchasing a planner or even a notebook is a great tool to have to keep you on track. You can never be too organized in my opinion. It is also great to look back on how far you have come, compare bills, and remember recipes, etc.

How do you prep your food? Leave a comment if you have ideas to share or have a question!

How Exercise Changed My Life (that doesn't have to do with my body)

I write a lot about how fitness is my biggest passion. And it basically is. However, there is one other thing that comes in at a very close second. That is empowering women. I am a girl's girl. I want women to feel great about themselves; be confident, feel loved, and have a strong sense of motivation. We live in a world where women are pinned against one another. We are almost genetically inclined to come out of the womb ready to tear down the woman next to us. I am not wired that way. I want that to change so that change starts within me.

The media is all about a woman and her looks. On magazine covers you always see women and something about their physical appearance. This woman gained X amount of pounds, this woman lost her baby weight in record time, this woman has a killer body, and it goes on and on. Physical looks and sex almost define a woman in this world... it seems.

When I was a teenager, I fell victim to this in a huge way. 

When I was growing up, I was an "ugly duckling". I was teased and bullied a lot. I hit puberty when I was about 7. I remember in second grade having a big butt and needing to wear a bra. I loathed it and I was so embarrassed. Thus I wore baggy clothes that were far too big for me. I never wanted any of my clothes to show my body. I had big glasses too and never cared how my hair looked. I was pretty content. My neighborhood was nothing but boys and I was close with my younger brother, so my days were spent playing sports, riding four-wheeler's, and playing video games. I thought nothing of it.

Time goes by and I grow older. The summer before 8th grade, when I was 13 years old, for the first time, I exercised and started to lose weight. I began to like my new found muscle and curves. I then started wearing contacts, and learned about hair and makeup due to making more friends who were girls. I also bought more fashionable clothes that fit me. That year, things changed a lot for me in school. I had more "friends" than ever, boys were taking notice, and I felt a way about myself that I had never felt before. I was becoming addicted to the attention. 

I learned that if I looked pretty, people would "like" me.

My last year of middle school was great, but then high school comes. I transfer out of the school system I grew up in the second month of my freshman year. I then joined MySpace in 2004 to keep in touch with all of my old friends. That was when I first laid eyes on a model on there. Her screen name was "ForbiddeN" but her real name is Christine. She was the most popular woman on My Space and was featured on talk shows and magazines from it. I thought that was so incredible and I wanted to be just like her. She had platinum blonde hair, extremely tan skin, huge boobs, and a skinny body. I wanted to be that. 

However, that did not quite happen. My freshman and sophomore years in school took a turn for the worse because of all of the bullying I went through and abuse from my then step-father (my mother has since divorced him). I was walked to class by the Student Resource Officer because I would skip class or show up late because if I walked to class alone, people would yell at me, throw paper, and things like that. My mom came up to the school countless times on my behalf, and having the SRO aid me to class was the only option to help the situation. I was a cheerleader and during basketball games people would sit on the bleachers while I was on the gym floor doing a cheer or dance routine, and make faces at me, point at me, and laugh. Another time, I had to run on a mile on the track outside one day after school since I missed gym class the day before. The football team was running the steps on the stadium and every time they would see me run past them on the track, they would yell really mean things. My list could go on for what happened for those two years. I exercised at the gym during that time, but I ate my feelings. I ate a lot. I binged, a lot.

When I got my license the summer before my junior year of high school and started working, my weight was under a better control. I was able to enroll in the co-op program so I only had to go to school until 11:15 AM everyday and then I graduated early. I was finally fit, attractive, and I was getting good attention. I had never been "pretty" before or had good attention, so this was unbelievably euphoric. 

Physical beauty and promiscuity ruled my entire life. I was not going out in the world sleeping with everyone, but I made sure people noticed my body. I made sure I stood out. The attention became an addiction, and I was so stupid at the time to not realize that the only reason I was getting this attention is because men wanted sex. Not because they liked me or thought I was an awesome person to befriend; they simply wanted to get  in my pants. I was so caught up in the moment that I did not have the intelligence to differentiate attention because of my body and attention because of someone liking me for who I am.

I rebelled a lot during this time period. I put my father and step-mom through so much pain. They are devote Christians and put strict curfew's on me, but I constantly disobeyed everyone. My mom was more laid back and gave me more freedom, however I ended up taking even that for granted. I got to the point where my parents had to sell my car for a couple of months to try and teach me a lesson. It was a horrible period of my life. One that I am so, so ashamed of. I was so obsessed with the attention I was getting that I let everyone else around me, who loved me, hurt. You see this attention was unheard of for me. I grew up as a tom-boy and ugly duckling. Then I was bullied and teased relentlessly throughout high school, so when I all of the sudden become "hot and sexy", the attention was a drug for me. 

It was not until I started my weight loss journey at 19 years old in September of 2008 that I finally snapped out of it. After nearly a year of hard partying, drinking, binge eating, and fast food trips, my body suffered a tremendous weight gain. I literally could not believe I had gained over 100 pounds in a 14-15 months. I was so caught up in a partying lifestyle that I did not realize what was happening myself. I felt so stuck. I was only 19 years old and was 276 pounds. I thought to myself: "how in the world can I bounce back from this?". My plan was to not get so overwhelmed and take it one step at a time. And that is what I did. I told you guys how I initially lost weight: hard research, obtaining my NASM certification (not because I necessarily wanted to train people, but I wanted the education), clean eating, and hard training. I made one healthy choice at a time.

Every day that I would go to the gym, I felt myself getting stronger and more fit. I would see myself in the mirror drenched in sweat and think "damn I look beautiful". I did not look beautiful because I had perfect hair or makeup, I looked beautiful because I was working hard. I was out of my comfort zone, but doing the exercises anyway. I never had the best gym clothes. My body was never the best in the gym. However, I stayed dedicated. That impressed me. That made me feel like I could do anything.  I would be so scared going into the gym sometimes, but I would make myself go. I would make myself not care what anyone else was thinking or saying. Because no one out there can make me lose weight except for myself. If I wanted to get fit, I had to put in the work. I was on my own personal mission. No one knew the pain and agony I felt inside. So I pushed on.

The gym in a sense has changed my life. It changed the way I viewed myself. It helped me learn to love myself for who I am, not because of the way I look. I know that may sound kind of crazy, because exercising helps our outward appearance so much. But let me tell you this, you will never move mountains without a strong a mind. Your body can do whatever you want it too, it is your mind and inner strength that must conduct it.

Over time I watched my body transform and that transformation changed the way I thought. I suddenly realized I could do anything I wanted. The gym was hard work and I was so uncomfortable in there sometimes, but I did it anyway. Imagine where else I could use the mentality! I realized that I have a worth and my worth was not my outward appearance. I made people start to respect me. I made people get to know me for who I was on the inside. I realized that it was my determination and dedication that changed my body. It was my hard, raw work that did this. That is an incredible feeling.

That is what saved me in November when part 2 of my journey began -- the confidence the gym taught me. I knew I was overweight. I knew I did not look the way I used too. More so, I knew I could get back to the place where I used to be. I knew I was better than the old me who binges when they are sad, who gets hurt when people talk about me, who feels sorry for myself - I am better than that. It was time to cut off my self loathing and hit the gym again. All of my clothes had grown too tight, I was embarrassed seeing people I knew, because I knew they could tell I was bigger, but I pushed anyway. I know in my heart that I am strong, confident, and intelligence. I have all of the tools I needed to get back to where I was. It was time to dig deep again and find that inner love I used to have and put it to use.  

As I would watch other woman battle with these same weight issues, I wanted to wanted to help them. As I would see other women battle with their on self-worth, I wanted to help. I wanted to scream to everyone who was going through what I did; "I know your pain! I know it all too well. Please listen to me because you can get past this". I suddenly wanted to tell every woman in the world that we are not creatures to be used as a dolls and for sex. We have hearts and minds and that if we work hard, we can do anything we want. 

The gym saved me from a downward spiral and a dark place. It not only transformed my body and health, but my mind and morals.

*My blog hop will be back next Wednesday. It has been a rough week with my father's cancer as his time is quickly approaching. I am in and out of town and blog posts have been previously scheduled.