The real world has been kicking my butt this week. I am so, so tired. I normally thrive and appreciate the hectic days in my office, but this week they are drowning me. I am normally liberated at new blogging opportunities and posts, but this week they are exhausting me. My mom was in town Monday through yesterday, which helped, and was so nice to have. I let loose a little and enjoyed time with her.
What has been bothering me most-- a lot of the reason why I am more tired than usual, and why I have had so much trouble sleeping lately is my RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). I was diagnosed in February. I started showing symptoms a year before though, but they were sporadic and did not happen often. At the time, I attributed the symptoms to overworking myself at the gym.
It feels like ever since I was diagnosed I have issues nearly every night when I get into bed, which is horrible for me because I absolutely love sleep, and I ensure I get plenty of it nightly. It is rare that I let anything interfere with my sleep schedule. For my RLS, I have been on prescribed medication from my doctor as well engaging in a plethora of "home remedies" that my friends and readers have advised to me. Most of the time, that entire combination helps, but sometimes it doesn't.
Saturday and last night it did not. I was up all night in so much pain. It is so hard to describe the pain to people: it is not an ache or pulled muscle type of pain, it is nerve pain. It is agony to lay still. The only relief I find is when I get up and walk around; which last night I did until 2 in the morning. By then, all of my sleep medication kicked in and knocked me out. Which is great, but I have felt horrible today: fatigued, unable to concentrate, falling asleep at my desk, and my RLS pain is still active. It carried on from the night and is still hurting as I am in my office. I keep getting up to stretch my legs that provides provides relief, but the pain sneaks right back in when I become still.
Being sleep deprived affects me more than others sometimes. A lot of people are used to it, and their bodies and mind have adjusted. Unfortunately, I am not at that stage. Since I am a very high energy, outgoing, nonstop kind of person, I wear myself out a lot. I have admitted that on here many times. My remedy is sleep. When I am deprived from this, I can maybe be a bit dramatic and overbearing. Hell, I may even act like a 2 year old who needs a nap. I admit it, though. I am not proud. It is just one of my many flaws.
I was dealing with the sleep deprivation over the weekend and on Monday and now I am back again plowing through it today. When I feel this way, it makes me lose sight of everything. I am a person who has never had balance in their life. It has always been all or nothing. Thus, over the past year, I have been working extensively to teach myself a life balance.
I have gotten so, so much better, but I am still not where I want to be.
When I find myself slipping and losing my way-- losing vision of my goals, I need motivation to help me get over this internal negativity.
Below is what I have done to help lately. It may be "over the top" to some, but for me, it's perfect. I am a woman on a mission, I am a woman who is fighting emotional eating, and I am a woman who still has 30 pounds to lose. I am also a woman who is working on improving the way I handle tasks and stress.
Some of us truly need this extra, grandiose motivation.
Print that picture above (I think the black background and white font just make it so intense and like it's really challenging you) and put it on your refrigerator, near your purse and/or wallet, at your desk-- wherever you need too.
It may sound silly, but I promise you it works. There is nothing quite like reaching for that slice of chocolate cake after you already had a slice yesterday, and seeing something like that. It ruins the mood. It kills the cravings.
I am all about losing weight the healthy way-- a person needs their occasional bad food and cheat meal(s), however, if you're like me and stress eat, binge when life gets hard, or just have an issue with saying "no" to bad foods more often than you want to admit, something like this will help. It is a reminder of the measures you are taking to try and lose weight and become healthier.
Seeing something that like that puts my journey into perspective for me when a bad day or overbearing food craving start to take over and cloud my judgement.
I love to exercise. The high that comes from sweating and pushing your body's limits while blasting your favorite music, to me, is indescribable. I absolutely love training.
But sometimes, my case of the "blah's" after a long day of work or stress, outweigh my my love for exercise. That is when I have to dig deep inside of myself and kick my own ass. Which is unbelievably hard as I am sure most of you know. That is why it can be so difficult to stay motivated.
When this happens, you have to look deep within yourself. It is not easy. This is the number 1 one reason why so many people give up on their weight loss journey: the lack of self-motivation. Motivation cannot be bought. Motivation cannot be taken with a glass of water to start your day each morning.
Motivation comes from constantly cheering yourself on and making yourself mentally stronger. That is why I think the above picture is perfect to print and keep for those days when you lose sight, and most importantly, when you lose hope.
- I started because everyday I could not look in the mirror without crying.
- I would shower with the lights off because my naked body disgusted me.
- I started because I was in Target trying on a size 18 in pants that did not fit and I broke down.
- I started because I felt so tired all of the time.
- I started because my passion and work ethic for life dissipated on a daily basis..
- I started because I wanted to FEEL good about myself.
When I remember how bad I used to feel, and how desperately I wanted to change, it helps me push on. I may be weary, I may be cussing and crying, but I push on.
Eventually, you reach the finish line. You pushed yourself: you made healthy choices, and you attended that workout you so vehemently wanted to miss. That is when everything changes. The endorphin's are pumping, your confidence is built back up, and you now how the strength to keep going.
There is nothing that makes a journey so real than seeing what you could be-- what you WILL be. One thing I have done for years now and continue to do, is carry pictures of my favorite fitness inspirations; be it on my phone, on my refrigerator, desk, or somewhere in my home. My two favorite women are Ava Cowan and Pauline Nordin. They remind me that what I want is possible if I work hard enough. When my passion for fitness began in late 2008, those two women stood out to me more in the magazines than anyone else. I have been inspired ever since.
If they can do it, damn it, so can I. They are women and I am a woman. It's simple-- if I put in the work and dedication, I will get the same results.