It has been a really weird week (Friday 5)

We are at another Friday. Thank goodness. One of my best friends is coming down to stay the weekend with me, which of course I am excited about, but I am most excited about sleeping in. (Ha, love you Jen!) This week has been okay, but just... odd. I think it's mainly due to my own mental state. I can be pretty crazy, I suppose.

Sunday night, (1)I got an email from my step-mom telling me my dad is not doing well. My father has been battling cancer since basically 2006. It isn't curable, it is in his bones and keeps spreading. In November he started having really bad seizures. The doctor's did MRI's and found a brain tumor. To me, that was not a huge deal. He also had a brain tumor in September of 2011, the doctor's removed it via surgery, and dad lead a mostly normal life. That was all they would need to do again. He went in for surgery the week before last and the doctor's could not remove the tumor. The MRI was wrong (that only happens 15% of the time - my family's luck) and the tumor was too far into his brain to be removed. Since the surgery he keeps going back to Duke for more and more tests. As of right now, there are not a lot of options to help him and he continues to have seizures regularly. 

That broke me down. I have never had to deal with death before. I am 24 years old and my father is dying of cancer and my mother is sick with MS - both incurable. And I'm getting really damn bitter. I'm single, live alone, have no partner to be my rock during these times, and I was getting so mad at God. I'm too young to lose them. My father will most likely never walk me down the aisle or see a grandchild (I am his only child). It's just really hard. However, instead of asking "why me", I have to look at is "why not me". This is life. This free will... things like this happen. And I know there a lot of people out there who have never had parents or lost their parents way before I will. I know many, many people have it much worse than I do, it's just hard to look at the big picture like that sometimes. I apologized for blaming God and I am just trying to be the best daughter I can. My dad loves "The Beatles" so I have a DVD on the way to his house for him. I'm sure that will make him cheer up, at least a little.

That's all I want to say about that. I hate even talking about it on my blog. I just really think that is what threw me off this week. You guys have been so supportive and loving and I really appreciate it. Moving on...

(2) I am still trucking along on my weight loss journey. Finally I am starting to feel differences in my clothing. For a while I noticed differences naked and on the scale, but clothes - not so much. I am wearing shirts and jeans that have been put a way for a long time. I am really excited about the below white shirt. I love to wear white, but when my stomach and arms became bigger, I avoided it like the plague. I go for my weigh in later today and truth be told, I will be happy to be down a pound. I wanted to completely kick ass this week, but it didn't happen. I did good, but not as good as I should have.

Tuesday morning, I was still an emotional mess. My adorable angel, Marty was being so clingy. I could not get ready without him rubbing up against my legs wanting attention. (3) I was an awful mom. I was getting irritated with him and yelled at him because he almost tripped me up. On my way to work, I was in tears because I yelled at him. Am I psycho or what? It was eating away at me because I love my cat so much and I would never yell at him. I went home on my lunch and played with him then bought him catnip. When I got home from the gym Tuesday night, I let the water run from the sink (his favorite in the world) extra long as well. I think he has since forgiven me.

Wednesday I was a (4) I was so proud of my steal at GNC. As a lot of my fitness girls know, Quest Bar now has a new flavor out: cookies and cream. I for one am obsessed with it. It is absolutely delicious. So of course I needed to add a few to my stash at work. They were buy 3 get 1 free, my pre-workout (Lipo 6x black - I hate taking powder) was on sale, I had a $10 off my total purchase coupon, and they gave me a lot of free samples! I saved so much money. I was extremely proud! I love saving money, ha!

All of that prompted for a kick ass work out at the gym later. I started core workout's twice a week a couple of weeks ago, and I am really pleased at how strong I am getting. I stopped doing core work for a long time. There is no real reason as to why I stopped, but I know I needed to get back to it. Planks are becoming easier and I go longer... it's been a great feeling.

(5)Yesterday I had my 90-day review with my HR mentor and my boss. It is hard to believe that I have been with my company for 90 days. Do you guys remember me telling you the incredible story of how I even came about this job? If not, read it here. It was really and truly fate and God's work. My boss took me out to a delicious lunch, we had the review, and things are great. This job saved me in many ways. Even if some of my employee's are mad at me because the new shipment of paper towels does not have designs on them! (I am not even joking)

I got my booty up bright and early this morning to get some cardio before work. My best friend and I hate working out first thing but we pushed through!

I have my vitamin injection and weigh in at 12:45 so wish me luck, After work, I am getting in a lift session at the gym, then wait for Jen to get into town. Don't forget to link up today! I hope you guys have a great weekend!