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Society on Girls: I Am Woman

January 7, 2014

"We teach girls to shrink themselves to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: "You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful - but not too successful, Otherwise you will threaten the man." Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing - but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: the person who believes in the Social, Political, and Economic equality of the sexes."
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
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I was reading Faith's blog entry where she posted the above quote. It is by a brilliant author and Beyonce just so happens to have it in her new song "Flawless". I downloaded the song at the gym the other day. I was enjoying it while kicking ass on my inclined walk. Then Chimamanda's voice came on and it was like...

Wow. A wow moment. It was undoubtedly true, and beautifully said. 

I cling to every word. That is how society views women. It is what I have witnessed growing up. My mom and dad did not raise me to believe this, but a lot of other family members, friends, peers, etc. did.

First of all, we are all different. And as a woman, I would never bash another woman whose dream was to be a wife and mother. It's a beautiful thing, and if that is what a woman wants, than a woman should have it.

What I do not agree with, is how there has been so much pressure for this is how it has to be. "This is what should be expected from a woman." To get married and have children has never been the highest on my priority list and I have been made to feel like something is wrong with me. I just never could put it in words so beautiful as Chimamanda. 

Growing up, I had big dreams. I still do. Everyday the dreams change and get bigger. I wanted to be a singer, an actress, a model, a Forensic Psychologist, play the guitar, fitness compete, travel the world, skydive, write a novel, and the list could go on. But none of them were to get married and have children. Sure, I probably wanted both of them, but it just was not something I was living for.

And you know, there is nothing wrong with that. 

However, one day I feel as if I will meet my prince charming. Not like the one out of a fairytale, but the one who was made for me. I believe in that. Mainly because I am going to be willing to work my ass off for our relationship. I am going to love him more than he could have ever fathomed and right now, I have no idea who he is. I do not know when I will meet him, what will happen, and one thing I will never do is rush it. I am not going to live for that moment. I am not going to live for a man. I am going to live my life the way I want and the way I feel it should be, and if fate and God want it to happen, it will. That is the thing people sometimes forget: what is meant to be will always find a way.

We then have the society view: woman vs. woman.

That makes me madder and even sadder, then society "telling" women they are born to be wives and mothers. Why do women knock each other? This starts in grade school, and I hate it. I loathe when I hear a woman say; "I do not like girls. I perfer boys. Girls are too catty". I am all for women empowerment. The jealously really gets under my skin. I have always been the type of girl to appreciate a woman's beauty and especially when I see a woman being a CEO, political leader, or anything like that. To me, seeing that is refreshing, not something I would never try to knock down. Women need to fight through their insecurities; I think that is what a lot of cattiness stems from. We are so insecure because of society that if we feel a woman is "better than us" we have to knock her down. We can't like or appreciate her, we have to tear her apart so she is not favored more than us. 

I applaud Beyonce for her new record and especially this song. Women can be SEXY, strong, talented, and educated. If a woman has a strong sexual side, she is deemed as a "slut" or "whore". But a man? He gets kudos. By nature we are all sexual beings. Explore your sexual side; feel the freedom. Be whomever you want. I myself am a very sexual being. That does not mean I go out sleeping around with everyone. I value myself more than that. I don't need too. But it doesn't mean I do not have the strong desires nor the curiosity. And I value it.

You know... we do run the world, ladies.


I always believe in the quote "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I live by it and this change starts with me. Do not fall into the mass - create your own.

You know, I never knew how passionate I was about "Woman Empowerment" until I started writing and Blogging.

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12 comments

  1. Absolutely agree with everything you said in this post :). I for one tend to put my career in front of everything else...my goal when I was in school was to start my career in journalism and writing and now that I've done that, it's an amazing feeling. I've definitely run into some people along the way that made me feel like I should be more focused on having kids and being a stay-at-home mom....LOL yeah that might work for some ladies, but absolutely not for me. I worked too hard to be where I'm at now! Girl power! ;)

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  2. So true! I think that there are all types of women and not everyone wants marriage and kids. I think everyone has different goals and we should embrace it instead of knocking each other down!

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  3. It hate that women are constantly knocking each other down :-( we should be building each other up and supporting each other

    Great post my friend!!!

    I've always wanted to be a wife/mother but I truly admire the women who work their asses off to run a business and get what they want. I know personally I don't have the courage to do that but damn those ones that do....are pretty damn amazing in my eyes!

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  4. Love it! I think everyone should do what they want to do, not what they feel they should do!!! We should all be encouraging each other and uplifting each other, not bringing each other down!

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  5. I LOVE THIS! Growing up in a VERY Hispanic family, it was a given that women got married and had babies. But that was never my dream. I was pretty fortunate that my parents were younger and always instilled in me a sense of "you can do anything you put your mind to" vice "you have to get married and have grandbabies". Yet I have never put down women that do; my hat's off to them because that is a hard job. Now as a professional successful woman, some family members still cannot understand why marriage was not my thing. The crazy thing is that the women are the one that have been giving me grief for years. Now, I got engaged this New year's Eve and all of them feel like I am finally good to go. And my thing is "whatever, I got engaged when it was my time to do it not when family nor society told me to". So bravo for this awesome post!

    maria @ The Good Life

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  6. VERY well said!! Even though I didnt understand it when I was younger I thank my mother now for constantly pushing me and my little sister to pursue our dreams first. We as women can conquer so much if we stop focusing on what society expects from us. And its sickening to see women put each other down..who knows what we could do if we spent more time building eachother up.

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  7. Everyone is different and you have to do what's the best fit for YOU! Expectations are pushed on everyone across the board in my opinion!

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  8. I'm a huuuuge Beyonce fan for this reason. Women rock! Great post.

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  9. I am so totally obsessed with this it is like you stole the thoughts right from my brain! As always Beyoncé knows everything!

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  10. I'm delighted that female empowerment has become a growing movement in recent times - we deserve to have what's ours, but we also deserve to WORK for it. The men do, as well!

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