Life is all about change

I am trying to gather my thoughts and put myself together right now. Writing helps. This week has been one of the most emotionally draining weeks I have ever had. As we have always heard "it is darkest before dawn". And now is when I have to believe it.

This week started off with a text message from my step mother at 7:30 on Monday morning. My dad had two seizures Sunday night. My dad has been battling incurable cancer for exactly 2 years now. Though it is incurable, he is receiving the best treatment from Duke. He can lead a semi-normal life. There are a lot of ups and downs, but over the past 6-8 months, the disease has been very doormat and under control. I don't know how much longer than it is going to last though. Having a father with incurable cancer and a mother with the incurable disease MS, is very heartbreaking. I do not speak about it, write about it, or complain about it to anyone because it is something no one can change. Sometimes I like to pretend it does not exist. It's not denial, but an escape. Anyways, my dad is back home now and taking a lot of medication. He had some swelling in his head from his brain tumors. He will go back to Duke for more radiation once the swelling goes down. I spoke to him earlier and thankfully he sounds in good spirit. My dad is a fighter, I know that much. He refuses to let cancer get the best of him. I love you, Dad.

Wednesday, I must have eaten something bad. Wednesday evening I was SO sick. I am still reeling from the effects. Not to be gross, but I have never thrown up so much in my life. On my way home, I had to pull over twice so I could "get it out me", I only live 10 minutes from work too. It passed within a few hours, but it was unbearable. I still feel weak from it. 

On top of the issues with my father, I am resigning from my job in a couple of weeks. The meeting came to a head yesterday. This is heartbreaking but happy at the same time. Horrible and great. I do not know how it is all of those things at one time, but it is. I am very lucky because I have my mother and a wonderful fiance standing behind of me through all of this. I have written about my job before  and the downhill turn things have taken for the past year, and now the company has hit the bottom. It is sad because you always want to root for a small, start up company, but with every risk there comes either a reward or penalty. You do not always win. We are a very small company, over the past two and a half years we have been more family than co-workers, that is the hardest part about it all. Thankfully, I will be able to collect unemployment, and I will be right back in the job market looking for something new. Marquis is in the works of a new business I could run, but I don't know if I want to do that. I do not know what is next, but I am going to look at all different kinds of ventures. I may not be on Blogger as much as I am applying and interviewing, but I will still be here.

So in true Friday fashion, I am going to write 5 great things about my week. No matter how hard life gets, we can always see the good in things, right?

1) My Hump Day b l o g h o p 

Ladies, you all amaze me. You guys helped me spread the word and we had nearly 80 link up's our first time. Plus over 1,500 views. My co-host gained 12 new readers and I loved hearing about you guys finding new friends and blogs. To me, this is what Blogging is all about - making new friends, networking, and coming together as a community. Sometimes I like writing on my blog and telling you guys about my life, more than I do to people in real life. So thank you for helping me make Wednesday a success. I look forward to doing this every week and promoting my next co-hosts.

2) I p s y and M a r y K a y

I came home on Monday to my first Ipsy bag, Mary Kay foundation and "Makeup Stay Spray". I have not use much from my Ipsy bag yet, but I did try the red Cailyn lip stain. Holy crap I love it! I always love receiving new mascara so I cannot wait to try it out. I will die with my Mary Kay foundation so I was happy to receive that and I am excited to try the new makeup stay spray. I have read about Urban Decay's stay spray but since I love my Mary Kay girl, I thought I would try theirs first. I hope it works!

3) P o l a r FT4

My new Polar arrived Tuesday! I am so happy to finally have this for the gym. It is more than just a heart rate monitor, it is a challenge. I am excited to keep up with how many calories I burn and what zone I am training it. I want to push myself to burn more calories and beat yesterday's goal. Another great thing - I only paid $60 for it, plus free shipping. Ladies, do not pay $90-120 for this, pay $60 like I did. You can purchase it here.

4) My mama is in town. There is nothing better than having your mom come see you after a very hard week. We are having a blast. I love my mom way too much. I am 24 years old and I still get like a baby around her. And in my true mother's fashion (you guys know how she is on Facebook) here is what she has said:

Brantley is my brother's son, her one year old grandson. I think I may break it to her that she is famous on my blog, ha ha!

5) I needed some fun in my life last night. Mom, Marquis, and I all went to the White Water Center for drinks and live music, and took the pups with us for extra added fun. It was a great time and much needed.

Mama, Marquis, and a couple of the pups @ Whitewater Center

Now I am ready for the weekend, I hope you guys have a great one!