My brand new weight loss journey

I thought now would be a good time to share the second phase of my weight loss journey. How I first lost weight in between September of 2008-2010 has quickly become a thing of the past. It is incredible how time flies. If you have not read about my initial journey, you can do so here. That is when I first fell in love with health, fitness, obtained my NASM certification, and learned everything I possibly could on proper nutrition and exercise. 

Most of 2010 and 2011, my weight was great, as was my life. I turned 21 in July of 2010. I do not drink a lot, so turning 21 did not do anything to derail my weight. I kept myself very busy with work, the gym, making new friends in Charlotte, and working a second job as a makeup artist. My time was extremely limited, but it kept me on track. I started dating a good friend of mine in June 2011. His passion was fitness, such as I, so initially we made a great team. We dated nearly 2 and half years. 

The relationship was not great. We loved each other, but we just could not make it work. I wanted it to work more than anything, and I know he did too. But we could not do it. I wish I could tell you guys everything to make the story make sense, but I can't. I don't think it is really necessary. To add to that, at the end of 2012 my job started going down hill. I was on my second budget cut and downsize with the company. That is also when my relationship started taking a turn for the worse. Handling all of that at 23 years old and doing everything alone, was not easy. Food became my refuge. Since I had already lost so much weight, I would justify eating my feelings. I would say to myself "I have had a bad day. I do not feel like working out, so I am going to get a pizza and go home. I have lost a lot of weight so it will be OK". You can only tell yourself that for so long before the weight starts to slowly creep on. One of my biggest afflictions in life is that food provides an emotional fill for me. It always has. I have to fight 18 years of eating habits every. single. day. and it is not easy. I struggle with my food choices more than I want to admit, but every single healthy choice I make, is a small battle won.

For months, I ate really bad. I would make healthy choices here and there because I was accustom to it, and I still went to the gym, but everything was slacking. I was eating bad foods more and food, my gym schedule became less structured, my workouts become shorter, and I did not push myself as hard. I literally just did not care. I was tired. I was sad. My work and my relationship were draining life and happiness out of me. 

In January 2013, things slightly improved with my relationship. That helped some. However, I noticed I started feeling sick a lot, and carbohydrates like bread and pasta were about the only thing that made me feel better. I also felt hungrier than usual. The next month, we found out were expecting. A couple of weeks after that, we lost the baby. A couple of weeks after that, I was getting out of my car at work, returning from my lunch break, and I was in a pool of my own blood. I rushed to the Urgent Care near my work, and they called an EMS to rush me to the hospital. And that is where I almost died. I was hemorrhaging. I cannot believe how much blood is in the human body. I will spare anyone reading the details, but I had emergency surgery and transfusion. It cost well over $20,000, but you cannot put a price on life. January through April of 2013 were the absolute worst months of my entire life. I thought in my 23 years of life I had experienced a lot, but I had no idea.

My body heals and life goes back to normal. Normal as in, my relationship was OK, my job was bad, and I was supposed to continue on with life as nothing happened. Physically, I was normal. Emotionally and mentally? No way. I was really depressed after all of that. I tried to continue on and not drown myself in those bad thoughts. Thinking about it would help nothing. Over the course of the next few months, I would try to get back on my weight loss 100% but it never worked. My passion was gone. I didn't care. My bad habits continued; poor eating, short workouts, missing the gym, and so on.

In October, my job finally came to an end. I was relieved, and thankful, because things had been so bad. I really did need to go. I had a new job lined up and I felt as if as brand new start was about to ensue. Two days before I was to start my job, I received a call that the offer was rescinded. I still to this day, have no idea what happened, but I do know that the job was never filled. Budget cuts? Change of heart for the position? Who knows. 

Another low for me. How much pain can one person endure? Will this bad luck ever end? I always try to be a good person, I could not believe how much bad was coming my way. But I could not let that stop me. I hit the ground running - I applied for jobs until I bled. I would stay up all night sending my resumes to places that were not even hiring! I was so determined. 

It quickly paid off.

A week and a half after I started applying. I obtained a new position. That was a fun week - I interviewed Monday, was offered the job Wednesday, and started that Friday. My new position pays a lot more than the initial one I obtained, I have full benefits and 401K, plus I do what I love. I could not ask for a better boss. I'm telling you, the President of my company is a walking angel, I am convinced of it. Every morning I wake up happy to go to work, blessed to be where I am, and start each day with a positive outlook. That is an incredible feeling.

I started my job November 1st. That day I felt like a new person - a new woman was born. That day I knew I needed to leave my relationship. I knew he felt that way too, however, we were both afraid to let go, but we did. After that, I took time to focus on my job, move into my new apartment, and heal from my relationship. On Monday, November 25th, 2013 I started a brand new journey. As of Friday, March 7th, I am down 37.8 pounds. I still have a long way to go, because I want to be better than I have ever been. I am the happiest I have ever been, so I want to be the best as well.

I take it one day at time, because a weight loss journey, is just that - a journey. A journey that you will go through the rest of your life if you want to stay healthy and fit. You will encounter a lot of ups and downs, weight gains, weight loss, and everything in between. It is never too late to start either. I messed up. I messed up, big time, and I had to start over. I thought I was too far gone but I wasn't. If you wake up in the morning, that is a brand new chance. I took that chance, even though I was at the bottom again, and I pushed on. 

This blog has been a great tool for me. I share a lot. I share the good, bad, and ugly. That leaves a lot of room for judgement. People can take my story how they want - that is out of my control. If they choose to read this, then that is their prerogative. I don't write for them. I write for me. I write for the man or woman who thinks they can never lose weight. I write for the person who thinks they have hit rock bottom and think things will never get better. I write for the people who find inspiration in my story. Because I find inspiration in you.

If you are reading this and do not blog, a blog would be a great tool to use to document your journey. I find so motivation in sharing my battles, success, recipes, weight loss, and I love reading other peoples. We are all in this together and when you have a community of amazing women and men beside of you, it truly helps you feel like you can do anything.