An Allergy and Light Headed Filled Weekend Recap

Well, this weekend wasn't great, but that happens. I could feel myself feeling some type of way on Friday. I was beginning to feel a little burned out. Then work was a freaking whirlwind; clients were visiting and I had my obligated duties of being hostest with the mostest. Normally I immensely enjoy this, but Friday it just exhausted me. Hell called and wanted it's weather back as well. 

When I left the office, I had a heavy leg workout on my training agenda. Honestly, I push myself to the brink of throwing up when I train legs. I don't know why, but I love training my legs until I cannot walk. I only do legs once every 7-10 days; sometimes even less because of how much I hike. Thus when I have my leg workouts, I make sure they count. I need to be in a good frame of mind for these workouts. Friday, I was not. However, I made myself go, and the second I walked through the gym doors, I was in total masochist mode. I tortured myself and Kelly, and we ended up having a great workout. I was exhausted after so the rest of the evening was spent binging on True Blood and ice-cream. 

I slept 10 hours Friday night and woke up late on Saturday; barely able to walk. Friday's training goal was definitely attained. I planned on getting in good writing time but I could not concentrate to save my life; my ADHD was in full affect. Kelly came over and we went to a local tavern for a bottle of Champagne and hummus. We were having fun until I got sick. That little allergy I have to alcohol surfaced bad; I suppose it is because I do not drink a lot anymore so when I do, it shocks my body or something. I spent the rest of the evening laying down. I was miserable.

Sunday, I woke up early and still felt sore and fatigued; but since I was up early, I got ready and went to church. I usually go Sunday night's so this was a fun change of pace. It was the start of our new series "Meant to Be: The Bible's Best Kept Secret of Sex, Marriage, and Being Single", My soul needed this more than words can describe. That was another reason why I decided to go to church in the morning. I was so excited!

I am not a very religious person; I ask a LOT of questions and I am not going to "believe something" because a book tells me too. I have to fully understand something before I can make the stance that I believe in it. I believe in logic and reasoning; just like teachers, parents, and other mentors have always taught me too. However, there is something about faith and God that heals me in a way that I can't really explain.

Writing is my passion. Writing is what heals me. At times I feel God come through my writing and take over my keyboard. I felt this significantly when I was writing this letter to myself. Finding God... or him finding me these past 7 weeks has been pretty incredible. Sometimes I feel like a pile mush throwing myself at his mercy and he always heals me. 

I am veering off of the subject, but Sunday was a strong, passionate, and honestly raw service, which is why I love going there. Steven Furtick is absolutely amazing: he preaches in a way that is so easy to understand and make sense of. You can take his message and apply it to your daily life. I cling to every word. When I was forced to go to church as a child and teen, I scribbled on the program counting down the minutes until it was over. It is not like that anymore. 

The most incredible part was all of the healing you could physically see and emotionally feel. Steven preached of how hard marriage is, how much it work it takes, the grace of being single, loving yourself -- he preached from 1st Corinthians in a beautifully and brutally honest way; a way that I feel so many people desperately need to hear. Slowly you could see couples all throughout the church holding hands, humbling before their partners, acknowledging their wrongdoings, making promises, and taking a leap of faith that had been void for a long time. Though my happy ass was there alone, it was incredible to see. I am so glad that I was so weak at the beginning of July that it forced me to start going to church. I was at a breaking point and in so much despair. I was desperate for my soul to be healed and a change. I feel right where I belong.

This series is powerful. It is for mature audiences, and Steven is not afraid to make you uncomfortable. This message gravely need to be said. He is preaching from 1st Corinthians; a chapter sometimes churches glide over because of the content. If you are single, married, or in relationship, you will benefit tremendously from this sermon. Watch it online here. 

After church, I went home and took a nap and did some writing for "Pretty, Lies". I then decided I needed to get out and get some fresh air. I did not feel like training so I went to the movies to see "If I Stay". I had a free ticket so I thought it would be a good movie to use it on. I have not read the book "If I Stay" but I have been seeing the preview for the movie so long that it looked intrigued me to go see it. My verdict? Disappointed is an understatement. I like the idea of the movie and the story is good; but the execution of the movie was awful. It was so boring. I could not wait for it to be over. To me, it lacked so many things. The only part I was "touched" at was when the grandfather was beside of Mia's hospital bed when she was unconscious. I am glad I did not pay to see it, and if you want to watch it, wait for Redbox.

After the movies I ran some errands then once I was home, I vegged out watching the VMA's and the series finale of "True Blood". I can't talk about "True Blood" right now because I am so heartbroken. I am just trying to pretend this isn't real. My heart cannot deal with this showing ending. It is my favorite show of all time and there was so much more that needed to happen before the network pulled the show.

Today, I enjoyed my last Monday off for summer hours. It is back to a normal 5 day work week next week. Oh wait, no it isn't because of Labor Day! Whoo hoo! I slept in, and felt back to normal. I went to the gym for cardio and an upper body weight circuit. After I went the bank and grocery store, then came back and prepped all of my food for the week and scrubbed my apartment from top to bottom.

Now I am fresh out of the shower, have the windows open because it such a beautiful evening, and candles burning. Throwing myself into catching up on blogs, get a chapter done in my book, and a turkey meatloaf going in the oven. 

My ALS Ice Bucket Challenge!

If you are not supportive of the ice bucket challenge you have seen floating around social media, I can understand. However, I want to add: you are missing the point.

The point of this is NOT to pour ice on your head to NOT donate. It is to do both. The ice bucket challenge has been a fun and interesting way to come together and bring awareness to a heartbreaking disease.

This disease is called "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis" also known as "Lou Gehrig's disease".

The "ice bucket challenge" has brought in incredible numbers. Last year the ALS Association received 19.4 million dollars. This month alone that number has doubled with over 800,000 new donors. That is absolutely incredible and shows how well we as people can come together.

Please take a couple of minutes and educate yourself about this disease. There is no cure and treatment is very expensive. Both of my parents suffer from incurable diseases: my father has cancer (not curable) and my mother has multiple sclerosis. Any time I see an opportunity such as this to bring awareness to an awful disease that so many people suffer from and fight on a daily basis, I want to do my part to try and make a difference.

Please donate if you can -- if you cannot donate money, donate time... donate your voice. There are many ways to get involved and make a difference. There is nothing too small or too little; every single person in this world can help and bring change. 

My donation will be in honor of my grandmother Minnie Gallimore who passed away from ALS. 

Helpful Resources:

Donate

ALS Fundraisers and Events

Stories from families dealing with ALS

Spread awareness

Learn more about ALS

The Blonde Behind The Blog: 20 Facts

We have made it to another Friday, and as usual, I am more than happy to see it. I have had a "serious" couple of days on my blog so I want to keep it fun today, link up with my ladies, and write another "getting to know you" post. This is the second in my "series". The first can be read here: a list of current favorites. 

Before I begin, I want to say thank you for all of the comments and emails from Wednesday's post: "You are so pretty... for someone of your size". Writing that was really hard. I have been so damn ashamed of my body my entire life; and it was not until a couple of months ago that I finally fell in love with my curves and muscles and developed a healthy confidence within myself. I hope together, we can spread the message of embracing our flaws, uniqueness, and genetic makeup. Plus show the world that health and fitness come in many, many shapes and sizes, and we, especially as women, follow no standards or expectations except of our own. Two of my dear blogging friends Tricia and Rebecca shared their personal experiences and struggles as well. I am so proud of their courage and very lucky to be surrounded by such strong and amazing women. 

1.) I was born exactly 2 months early. I weighed 3.8 pounds. My mom was deathly ill with pneumonia and toxemia. Her doctor had to do an immediate c-section to save our lives. Because of this, a lot of my nerves were not properly developed. This caused me to have ADHD and severe night terrors. I still have night terrors sporadically. It has only been about 4 years since I stopped having them on a nightly basis. 

2.) I am related to two former United States Presidents. William Henry Harrison is my great, great, great Uncle. I am obviously related to his son, Benjamin Harrison, who was also a President.

3.) I have the skull from the movie "The Punisher" tattooed on the middle of my upper body. Above the skull is the word "Broken", which is my favorite song of all time by the band "Seether". "Broken" also happened to be the theme song of the 2004 Punisher movie with Thomas Jane. That is one of my favorite movies. My tattoo represents the pain and struggles of my childhood. I am also a huge, huge Marvel Comic fan and nerd.

4.) This may be hard to believe in blog land, but I have never eaten at Chipotle. I have also never seen an episode of "The Price is Right". How weird, huh? 

5.) My mom never made me sandwiches when I was a toddler because any time she did, I would cram them in the VCR player. (I have no idea).

6.) My dream career besides writing is to be a Forensic Psychologist. It was my major in college and I wish so deeply that I could have finished and received the required advanced degrees. However, I ran out of money and refused to take out loans. Additionally the course work was becoming too difficult to bare as I also worked full time at a minimum wage job 45 minutes from my home. Plus I helped take care of my mom and our home. If I am ever able to make a lot of money on my own, the number 1 item on my bucket list will be to get my PhD in Forensic Psychology and work in a jail and on trials. It still hurts to think about this. 

7.) Speaking of writing: if you read my blog, you know I am writing my first book! My love and passion for writing has been with me since I was a child. When I was 6, I wrote this book. Then when I was 14, I wrote the below "book" -- all for fun. It is called "Quest"; I can't believe I still have the notebook I wrote it in! 

8.) My Abnormal Psychology professor in school dated my grandmother when I was a baby. He announced to the class once that he used to change my diaper, ha ha!

9.) I have been in one car accident. It was November of 2009. I was driving home from the gym. The road I lived on was very, very curvy. The city was repaving the road and the new pavement was extremely slick. However there was no signs indicating this or to warn people to drive at a slower speed. My tires slid on one of the curves which caused me to veer off of the road. My car flipped twice down a hill and landed upside down about 6 feet away from a lake. My doors were crushed so I was unable to get out. By the grace of God, a Deputy Sheriff was driving by, saw my car, and rushed down to help me. He cracked my window and was able to pull me out. I walked away without a scratch. I only wrecked about 6 houses down from where I live so the Deputy Sheriff called my mom to tell her what happened while the EMS checked me out to make sure I was OK. When my mom walked up to the scene and saw my car upside down, she thought without a doubt that I was dead. That moment caused her to have an extremely bad MS flare up an sent HER to the hospital and she was out of work for a week. 

10.) I was obsessed with Britney Spears when I was a child. Hell, I still love love her, but her music disappoints me so much now. Anyways, I wrote fan letters to her all of the time, posters of her were all over my bedroom walls, I would play her CD's constantly in my room and pretend I was her putting on a concert. I would pretend that she was my best friend. Any time a new album of hers came out, I would beg and plead to my parents to take me to WalMart the day it was released so I could get a copy before school started. WalMart opened at 7 AM at the time and I would always make my parents get there at 6:45 (just to be safe, ha). I also had a VHS of Britney called "Time Out with Britney Spears". I watched it so much that the actual tape part of the video ripped and fell apart. 

11.) In 2009 I had bright red hair. It was hands down my favorite look! If my hair could permanently stay that color red without fading so drastically, I would never be blonde again.

12.) I have never bought a lottery ticket or played one.

13.) I consider myself a brave person and I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. However, I have two fears that literally tear me up. One is flying in an airplane over the ocean. I am fine flying in an airplane over land; but the ocean? No way. It makes me shake, tremble, cry and I am convinced the plane will crash. My second big fear is death-- knowing that one day I have to die. I have had panic attacks in bed thinking about it sometimes. They both are so odd, I know.

14.) I hate seafood; all of it. Shrimp, tuna... there are no exceptions. I hate the way all fish look. I hate the way they smell. I hate the way they taste. I hate everything about fish. Gross!

15.) I am left-handed. 

16.) When I was a freshman in high school, my dog got sprayed by a skunk. The smell was so bad, that it migrated into my clothes and backpack for school. That day, I was sent home from because the smell was disrupting my class, ha!

17.) One day at the gym, I sneezed so hard on the elliptical that I fell off of it in front of everybody. It was so freaking embarrassing! 

18.) I love pretending I am a "model" and taking weird and "artsy" type photos then playing with exposure and contrast. Pictures make me come alive; I feel creative and free.

19.) You guys know the love of my life Marty, right? Well, my friend gave him to me in August of 2008 because he was moving in with his mother in New York and could not take him because she is allergic to cats. He did know anyone else in North Carolina and did not want to take him to a pound. Of course I said I would take him. I had been around Marty for 2 years at this point. However, my mom said no. I took him anyways and hid him in my closet sneaking food and purchased him a litter box. One night my mom heard him meowing and asked what was going on in my room. I told her I was watching a movie but she knew otherwise. She demanded to search my room, found him, and fell in love. Luckily I did not get in trouble.

20.) I am actually ALLERGIC to alcohol! I never get drunk and when I do drink, my limit is two - if even that. I develop really bad mucus in my throat and lungs and have trouble breathing. This is due to my body not having the proper enzymes to break down (metabolize) toxins in alcohol.

A Letter to Myself: One Year Later

Dear 24 year old-August of 2013-Liz,

It has been precisely one year since wrote that blog post. That blog post was the beginning. The beginning of you understanding that you needed to change your life. And you have. Your life has changed 100% since then.

Get ready.

"I Don't Want To Die a Dreamer"

To break you in easily, I will start with work.  

You finally left that job. It was inevitable, and I think you always knew that. You resigned when you obtained a position in uptown Charlotte for a real estate company. You put a deposit on a brand new apartment that was only a block away from your new job. You are going to be able to walk to work, and not have to worry about gas or parking, plus get to experience uptown life. You were really, really excited.

Except it did not happen that way.

You were starting this new job on a Tuesday, and the weekend before, you stayed at papa and grandma's. You and grandma were going to spend the day together shopping on Sunday to find you the perfect wardrobe for your new position. Ten minutes after you and grandma left to go shopping, your cell phone rings. It's the president of the company. Your job offer was rescinded due to budget cuts and immediate staffing changes the company had to implement. 

With a 3 minute telephone call, you became unemployed, lost that brand new apartment, and had to start from scratch without any certainty regarding the direction you were going in. 

But that's okay. You are a survivor and you can get through anything. You always have and you will always will. That was just a warm-up for what was to come, anyway.

You cried and sulked that afternoon, then hit the ground running. You sent your resume to over 300 places; even if they weren't hiring. It quickly paid off. The next Monday you had an interview with a man named John at successful company in the Ballantyne Corporate Park (your favorite place!). You clicked with him instantly and he even made the comment that he liked your spunk. He offered you the job Wednesday and you started Friday. The best part? It pays quite a bit more than the job you initially received and provides full benefits and 401k. 

You love your job and feel like you were meant to be there. Looking back, receiving that telephone call that the other job fell through was the best thing to happen to you. Your boss believes in you, gives you immense creative freedom, and provides just enough direction for you to grow, but still be independent. You work long, hard hours, you are constantly interrupted all day everyday while doing your work, always get thrown into meetings, you plan events and office functions constantly, and multitasking has never been so chaotic. You love every minute of it though. 

You find another apartment. You move back to the apartment complex that you lived in when you rented your very first apartment. It's 2 miles away from your job and the 5 minute commute every morning is wonderful. Because of your financial situation you are able to get a spacious one-bedroom apartment that is almost 900 square feet! Since you are back at that apartment complex, you join LA Fitness again and your apartment building happens to be right beside of it. You and Kel are back to your old routine of training together everyday after work. 

You're home, Liz. You are home. Remember when you had to abruptly change your life at the end of 2012 and everything was just a freaking mess? Well, 2013 is a mess too. You know that by now. It calms down, though. You are back in the Ballantyne area; your favorite place to be. The only place that has ever felt like home. 

Where does all of this leave your relationship though?

You are not with him anymore. And I wish I could tell you that you let go and never look back, but you don't. You never will. You love him far too much for it to ever be that easy; whether he deserves it or not. You knew you needed to leave though. You did not want too, but you had too. You are brave for that. That will happen November 1st. It's going to be hard. You are going to cry yourself to sleep so many nights. You are going to lie awake in bed and ache for his presence. You are going to doubt your decisions. You are going to have panic attacks. You're going to go through a dark period of depression. Nothing and no one can take that pain away. You are just going to have to be strong and pull through. Allow yourself to hurt and accept the pain so you can move on. 

You don't stop loving him and you never will. You know how you are. Tomorrow you are going to love him just as much as you do today. He was such a paramount part of your life; but for once you are going to love yourself more. You will have a lot of twists, turns, ups, and downs over this, but you keep going. You pray, you work hard, and you keep faith and hope alive in your heart. That is all you can do when it comes to that.

Surprisingly, the breakup is not the hardest part though. Your weight is. 

You have had a rough year... and your body and health have been through a lot. This caused you to gain a lot of weight. Your job situation and relationship just added to the cause. You let yourself go, Liz. You always knew what you were doing to yourself, but you were so mentally exhausted that you did not care. You still have a few more months of gaining weight until you realize this though.

Are you ready? You are going to weigh 262 pounds before you change your life.

November 25th, 2013 is a Monday; Dad's birthday (he is still hanging on, by the way). You will go to work at your fabulous new job and have a doctors appointment at 6PM for your annual physical. To kill time before your appointment, you go to Target to purchase some new clothes for work. However, nothing fits. Even a size 18 does not fit. Can you believe that? A size 18 does not fit you anymore. That is how bad it gets. You are going to break down in the dressing room, a Target employee is going to check on you, and then out of embarrassment you are going to run out of the store. Going to your doctors appointment and seeing the number on the scale right after this incident is just the icing on the cake. Thank God it was enough to push you over the edge and make you change your life.

Girl, you do it too! You have done it before and you can do it again. Except this time, you work even harder! You dig even deeper within yourself and face your inner demons head on. What is even better is that you write about it. You open yourself up and share your struggles and problems, even though they are embarrassing. That is because you are confident but humble, and it is important for you to do this to help other people. You have stuck with your blog, and made so many amazing friends. That makes it even more important to be a positive guide for someone who is roaming through the darkness that engulfed you for so long.

You love to write and you dream of that being your career. You did not want to die a dreamer, and you still don't. The difference is now you work harder than you ever have. You are down 63 pounds and have only 25 more to go. You blog at least 5 times a week. You are also well into your first book. It is not the mafia series you want to do, though. You need to dedicate much more time to research for that series. The book you are working on now is much more appropriate for you to be writing. You are healing through writing this book. Your hope is for this book is to inspire and give hope to people all across the world. There is also someone interested in being your agent and publishing companies that you have been talking too. You are being cautious though. You want this done right because it could set the foundation for the future. Keep taking your time and educating yourself. Knowledge is power. And when it comes to something like this, you need as much power as you can obtain.

Thus far 2014 has been the biggest year of your entire life. You have grown so much as a woman and as an adult. It is going to be loneliest year for you too, but you need it. You need to give up some of your social life for once and stop being so caught up in the "now". If you don't want to die a dreamer, you have to put in the work. Extraordinary dreams and goals require extraordinary effort and dedication. You are going to have to remind yourself of that almost everyday, because you do get exhausted. But keep trying. Push yourself to do the best you can every single day. That way, if you do die a dreamer, at least you tried. 

I always hear the quote "You do not know how strong you are until it is the only choice you have". I disagree with that. I believe that "You don't know how strong you are until you have every reason to give up and be defeated, but you don't." You keep fighting and you keep trying. That is strength, and right now, a year later, you are fighting and trying every single day of your life.

Lastly, I want to let you know that at the end of May you are going to cut 5 inches from your hair. It is going to suck. 

Oh and Robin Williams died last week. It was heartbreaking.

Love,

25 year old-August of 2014-Liz