Life is all about change

September 20, 2013

I am trying to gather my thoughts and put myself together right now. Writing helps. This week has been one of the most emotionally draining weeks I have ever had. As we have always heard "it is darkest before dawn". And now is when I have to believe it.

This week started off with a text message from my step mother at 7:30 on Monday morning. My dad had two seizures Sunday night. My dad has been battling incurable cancer for exactly 2 years now. Though it is incurable, he is receiving the best treatment from Duke. He can lead a semi-normal life. There are a lot of ups and downs, but over the past 6-8 months, the disease has been very doormat and under control. I don't know how much longer than it is going to last though. Having a father with incurable cancer and a mother with the incurable disease MS, is very heartbreaking. I do not speak about it, write about it, or complain about it to anyone because it is something no one can change. Sometimes I like to pretend it does not exist. It's not denial, but an escape. Anyways, my dad is back home now and taking a lot of medication. He had some swelling in his head from his brain tumors. He will go back to Duke for more radiation once the swelling goes down. I spoke to him earlier and thankfully he sounds in good spirit. My dad is a fighter, I know that much. He refuses to let cancer get the best of him. I love you, Dad.

Wednesday, I must have eaten something bad. Wednesday evening I was SO sick. I am still reeling from the effects. Not to be gross, but I have never thrown up so much in my life. On my way home, I had to pull over twice so I could "get it out me", I only live 10 minutes from work too. It passed within a few hours, but it was unbearable. I still feel weak from it. 

On top of the issues with my father, I am resigning from my job in a couple of weeks. The meeting came to a head yesterday. This is heartbreaking but happy at the same time. Horrible and great. I do not know how it is all of those things at one time, but it is. I am very lucky because I have my mother and a wonderful fiance standing behind of me through all of this. I have written about my job before  and the downhill turn things have taken for the past year, and now the company has hit the bottom. It is sad because you always want to root for a small, start up company, but with every risk there comes either a reward or penalty. You do not always win. We are a very small company, over the past two and a half years we have been more family than co-workers, that is the hardest part about it all. Thankfully, I will be able to collect unemployment, and I will be right back in the job market looking for something new. Marquis is in the works of a new business I could run, but I don't know if I want to do that. I do not know what is next, but I am going to look at all different kinds of ventures. I may not be on Blogger as much as I am applying and interviewing, but I will still be here.

So in true Friday fashion, I am going to write 5 great things about my week. No matter how hard life gets, we can always see the good in things, right?

1) My Hump Day b l o g h o p 
Ladies, you all amaze me. You guys helped me spread the word and we had nearly 80 link up's our first time. Plus over 1,500 views. My co-host gained 12 new readers and I loved hearing about you guys finding new friends and blogs. To me, this is what Blogging is all about - making new friends, networking, and coming together as a community. Sometimes I like writing on my blog and telling you guys about my life, more than I do to people in real life. So thank you for helping me make Wednesday a success. I look forward to doing this every week and promoting my next co-hosts.

2) I p s y and M a r y K a y
I came home on Monday to my first Ipsy bag, Mary Kay foundation and "Makeup Stay Spray". I have not use much from my Ipsy bag yet, but I did try the red Cailyn lip stain. Holy crap I love it! I always love receiving new mascara so I cannot wait to try it out. I will die with my Mary Kay foundation so I was happy to receive that and I am excited to try the new makeup stay spray. I have read about Urban Decay's stay spray but since I love my Mary Kay girl, I thought I would try theirs first. I hope it works!
3) P o l a r FT4
My new Polar arrived Tuesday! I am so happy to finally have this for the gym. It is more than just a heart rate monitor, it is a challenge. I am excited to keep up with how many calories I burn and what zone I am training it. I want to push myself to burn more calories and beat yesterday's goal. Another great thing - I only paid $60 for it, plus free shipping. Ladies, do not pay $90-120 for this, pay $60 like I did. You can purchase it here.
4) My mama is in town. There is nothing better than having your mom come see you after a very hard week. We are having a blast. I love my mom way too much. I am 24 years old and I still get like a baby around her. And in my true mother's fashion (you guys know how she is on Facebook) here is what she has said:

Brantley is my brother's son, her one year old grandson. I think I may break it to her that she is famous on my blog, ha ha!

5) I needed some fun in my life last night. Mom, Marquis, and I all went to the White Water Center for drinks and live music, and took the pups with us for extra added fun. It was a great time and much needed.

Mama, Marquis, and a couple of the pups @ Whitewater Center
Now I am ready for the weekend, I hope you guys have a great one!


  1. So sorry that you are going through such a rough time with your Dad and your work. Know that I am here for you whenever you need to talk. So glad you have Marquis and your Mom with you to help you through this week. Hugs!

  2. Sending you prayers and happy vibes!!!! xoxox

  3. i'm really not good with words when it comes to the struggles you are facing -- i've never been a situation like that. but what I can say are that my positive thoughts are with you during this time.

    i got my polar ft4 from there too :) so much cheaper!!!

    that whitewater place looks interesting!

  4. Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way, girl! Keep your head up and stay strong.

    You've also inspired me to try some Mary Kay products - any recommendations? I'm intrigued!

    Hope you have a great weekend.

  5. I'm SO sorry to hear about your dad. Sending prayers up to you and your family!

    PS. Thank you for sharing where you got your Polar watch. I have wanted one, but refused to pay $100 for a watch.

  6. So sorry about your dad I know that must be horrible to see someone you love go through that. keep your chin up. :)

    I just signed up for my first ipsy bag I'm excited to try it out.

  7. Sending you prayers lady for your dad, your job and just you. Remember He is always there to listen and help when you need it. Pray through the tough times and seek out someone to listen and vent to. IN other news... love new make up! always makes me feel good. have a good weekend!

  8. I need a Polar! Let me know how you like it! I would love to co-host your blog hop sometime, let me know what I need to do! Congrats on the initial success of it, that's great! I think I missed it this week due to not being around my blog much! Boo....

  9. I love that you found 5 reasons your week was still awesome no matter what is going on. You gotta stay positive. My dad went for testing this week for tumors. We wont know everything until the end of the month after a few more Dr visits, so I can completely relate to you. It is hard when parents are sick. We are so used to them taking care of us. Also, I think you finding another job is going to be one of the best things that can happen for you. I wish you all the luck in the world on your new venture, whatever it might be...and I know you are going to rock it!

  10. I love you so much. I'm here for you, babe!

  11. There is no doubt that God has gifted you with many talents and you will find something that you are meant to do...I will be praying for your Dad and your Mom enjoy the visit!

  12. prayers to you & your dad & mama!!! I know with all your love & support you will find something amazing in your next chapter of life!! Enjoy this weekend with mama as I am the same way. I get all excited when I visit my mom. Something about mom's make the world much better!!!
    Have a great weekend darling!

  13. Prayers to you and your family! I've been there before with my dad and it wasn't easy. I was 12-13 years old.

    You have to do what makes you happy job wise, even if it means quitting. Good luck on your next venture!

  14. aww your mama always cracks me up on fb!!! LOL love that she is visiting you and im so sorry for all the health issues with your parents sweetie, i will pray for them! I hope things go well with the job i know you will find one fast!!

  15. I'm so glad the blog hop went well! What great numbers for a first time! I hate what is going on with your dad and all the other stresses in your life; grateful you have lots of wonderful people to lean on.

  16. my hubby had a seizure this past week for the first time. SO scary. I know how you are feeling except you have it times 1,000. Thinking about you girl.

  17. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and leaving your job. But I can tell that you have such a positive outlook on life by focusing on the good things that happened this week! Sending you a big hug. PS I totally forgot to link up with you...I will for next week :)

    The Tiny Heart
    Style Lately Giveaway!

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  19. My prayers are for you and your family!!! I'm glad you still posted even with your current situation. Once you stepped foot on my blog and I came to yours, I fell in love with you and your stories!!! so my recent post I nominated you for the Liebster award. I know your suppper busy so you def don't hav to reply, but if you'd like to you can and share your post with me in my comments.. no matter what I will be an avid reader of yours!!


  20. Rooting for you with everything you are going through right now. It is so hard when everything hits at once.

    My father passed away from kidney cancer three years ago. Watching someone you love battle cancer is so incredibly hard. You are so strong and brave to be keeping your spirits up and popping head-first into the job market with everything going on. Thinking of you!

  21. Thinking of you and sending healing thoughts to your pops. Job change is scary but ultimately I think this is a blessing in disguise for you! Happy Friday!

  22. You are such a rock star and I love that you are staying positive during hard times. I love my Polar watch and need to check out your link up next week! Have a great weekend with you Mom in town. :)

  23. Sending prayers Liz! After a hurricane there's a rainbow :)

  24. sending you prayers for your dad!!! xoxo

    That white water place looks awesome!!

    Enjoy your time w. your mom! I unfortunately don't get much time w. mine anymore wish it was for a good reason but its not :(

    have a fabulous weekend hun

  25. I'm sorry these days have been kinda hard for you...for your father and job situation. And ugh...the stomach bug! I hope you're feeling better!

  26. I am so sorry that you've had it so rough lately. :( I'll keep your family in my thoughts & prayers. Enjoy the time with your mom this weekend!
    The Grass Skirt

  27. I'm so sorry about your dad :( I know the feeling of having a loved one that has an incurable illness. Almost 3 years ago, we found out that my little sister has Lupus. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    On a happy note :) I can't wait to be a part of hump day blog hop next week.

  28. i'm so sorry about you dad :( and everything you're about to go thru with the job.
    i wish we lived in the same town so we could go out for a "cheer up, buttercup" drink session <3

  29. I'm so sorry to read about your dad. My stepfather (who raised me) was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer last year, and passed away in March of this year. It is SO SO SO hard to watch your parents fight such a hard battle. Praying for you and your family with this as well as your job changes. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!


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