A Broken, Shattered Heart

The Weekly Wrap

Well, this week did not go as planned! 

On Monday, I awoke feeling rested, well, and ready to start the week. I was even up early, so I sipped on a cup of Dunkin Donuts bakery flavored coffee and watched a few episodes of Forensic Files. 

When I got up to get ready for work, I made sure my hair was extra pretty for the day so I could take a picture of my new highlights. I went super dark back in January, and I absolutely love(d) it; but it faded so fast-- as dark usually does with my hair. I do not want to keep darkening it thus I decided to go with highlights and start the process of going back blonde.

Around 10 AM, I started getting really nauseous. I endured some pretty rough side effects from a medicine I am on, over the weekend, but I thought that was over, so I was unsure why I was feeling so bad.

Ten minutes after I started feeling bad, I threw up (TMI? Oh well). Afterwards, I felt better so I thought it was still just a side effects since I had been feeling bad over the weekend. A few minutes later I started feeling bad again. And well... I bet you can guess what happened. Over the course of two hours, I puked 7 times. I had to call it a day early and left for home at noon.

I spent the rest of day and evening sleeping. I felt absolutely awful. I was so sad, too. As you guys have read on my posts over the past two weeks, I have been sick a lot. I have cherished feeling "normal" and like myself again; so getting sick on Monday broke my heart. 

Tuesday ended up being the same way. I did not throw up as much, but I only lasted at work until 3. I once again slept all afternoon and evening.. I also talked to my doctor and learned that yes, I am indeed still pushing through some side effects. 

Fun, fun, I tell you. 

Wednesday, I woke up feeling better -- much, much better, but I had a headache (dehydration) and felt weak (expected). I was determined to have a good day though, so I made myself up extra fun with red and brown eye shadow (I love this look) and a positive attitude (ha).

I made it through the day without throwing up!

I was uber tired after work though, and Johnathan worked 12 hours in the sunshine and 80 degree weather, so he was even more tired and drained than I was. Needless to say, we went to bed very early; J had started falling asleep on the couch at 6 PM anyway. 

He is so cute when he sleeps, hehe.

Yesterday, I was back to normal, but still intensely fatigued (I am so damn tired of feeling tired all of the time), but I pushed through work and got caught up on everything.

Checks... invoices... bank reconciliations... credits... issues... make all of the numbers stop!

I did, however, have a nice little break in the afternoon and surprised my co-workers with an "ice-cream sundae" bar". There is nothing better than having happy employees! The weather was super gloomy, everyone has been working hard, and today is the first day of Spring, thus ice-cream just felt right. I opted for a low-sugar sherbet option so I could keep it healthier and still participate. Surprisingly (not), it was not a popular choice amongust the others. Ha.

Last night, I made sure I rested and relaxed, and I even watched "Crossroads" on Netflix. Man, that Britney movie brings back so many memories! I got in bed early and slept like a rock. 

Today I feel the best I have felt all week! I feel back to me again. Plus, having my work caught up is a great feeling, especially when I had a ton going on. I am super happy it's Friday as I am ready for the weekend.

Plus, when you receive texts like this at work, how can it not be a great day?

Weekend Recap: Side Effects but Mainly Fun!

It's Monday morning, I am up bright and early to get a blog post written before I get ready for a great week of work. (Is that a good way to look at each week or week?)

This weekend was so fun; I did not want it to end. Despite feeling some really bad side effects from my new medicine on Friday evening and Saturday, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. 

Friday, this is how I graced everyone with my presence at work...

It is suffice to say that someone definitely needed some highlights and a trim. My dark hair, despite all the protectant my stylist put on there, faded fast! I guess that shows how I am meant to be blonde, right?! I think so, thus plans were made. 

After work, I came straight home to lay down for a little while. Nausea and a migraine were were taking over my body, so I napped on and off. Around 7 o'clock, Johnathan and I were tired of laying around so we decided to go to a movie to at least get some fresh air. 

It was Friday the 13th and raining, so a scary movie (The Lazarus Effect) was the only way to go! We were treated graciously from my Regal card, too. A free ticket to begin, then I earned a free popcorn and combo discount. He and I went all out on our treats. The movie was also great -- suspenseful, interesting, and pretty scary, especially towards the end! 

Saturday morning I awoke feeling the side effects again (mornings are usually worse) so I was once again laying around, watching TV, and reading -- just trying to relax. All week I was fine, but once the weekend came, I started feeling so bad. 

By 3 o'clock, I had enough lying around and was ready to go make the best of the day. I showered, made myself get presentable, then J and I made a grocery list and a list of errands we needed to run.

We went grocery shopping at WalMart, purchased a small rug for the kitchen (J picked it out - he did SO good!), I treatment myself to some new powder and lipstick at Ulta, and we picked up a couple of movies at Redbox.

On our way back, we noticed a neighbor taking some pretty nice looking things to the trash and recycling. As you  guys made have read on my blog lately, we have been collecting some really nice things! Saturday was no different -- we scored some super cute glasses from recycling. I can't wait to get those bad boys thoroughly washed and added to our glasses collection.

Yesterday the weather was absolutely perfect. Sunny, 75 degrees, and a nice breeze. Johnathan worked a little in the morning, then we made the best of it. After he brought Marty some new treats, of course. That must come first. 

We had lovely brunch at Ihop outside with delicious pancakes and an inced coffee, ran and a couple of more errands, and then went to my best friend's house to get highlights on my hair. I love the results -- my hair has a bit of a caramel look; I think it's very pretty!

J was also helping me put on my new lipstick (I was a little shaky) yesterday and it was the cutest thing, My man has skills. He telling me to "pucker up" so he could do it correctly and everything.

Despite my side effects that took place this weekend, I had so much fun. I am most thankful that I have such a loving partner who helped me through it all, too. We have so much exciting things ahead for us and I can't wait.

Yep, I am blessed in a lot of aspects in life and it feels good to finally realize that. It's a much better way to live and get through the days!

PS: My two contact emails listed on my blog are down right now and have been for a while now (from what I know). Please email me at TaylorLizAnne@yahoo.com if you would like to say hello or have a question/comment.

Life Lately: An Extensive Update!

It has been a while, little blog of mine.

Is anyone still here? I do not deserve for you to be; but if you are, thank you so much for stopping by and still checking in to see if I have written a new post. 

To help put incorrect assumptions and rumors to rest about what is going on with me and my life, I wanted to finally share an update. This will probably be quite a long post -- most of mine usually are as I love to write, so bare with me while I spill out an abundance of words to try and articulate what has been going on in my life over the past several months. 

First, a picture of the sunrise from my office this morning. It was absolutely beautiful!

I have wanted to write a post updating happenings going on in my life for a while now, but honestly, I have been exhausted. Life for me, as it usually is, has been nonstop; even more so than normal. Because of that, I kept pushing new blog posts back. 

I receive comments and messages regularly from my friends and readers asking when I am going to return to blogging. Every time I received one, I felt a surge of guilt for going so long without writing not just new posts, but posts without good content. I am not deserving of people so adamantly wanting to read my thoughts, advice, and stories. I will never get used to receiving comments like that, but they are everything to me. I truly mean that.

Contrary to the above, I received several messages and comments from a few readers saying "they were giving up on me". Some would state they were disappointed I stopped writing, I seemed to have completely given up on heath and fitness, and that they could no longer follow me on social media. 

I am shocked that people follow my blog that closely and would feel that type of "attachment". More so, I am honored that some people felt that way, however, hurt and embarrassment overcome that feeling because I hate to let people down, especially when it comes to my blog. Writing and blogging are my passions, thus to have people "give up on me" sucks. There is no other way to put it.  If by chance, those who stated they have "given up on me" are reading this; know that I am sorry, but I am human. 

Living on such a strict health and fitness plan for weight loss is very, very hard. I did it for a year and lost 70 pounds, but I went through a lot. I constantly wrote about trying to find "balance" in my life, which I really did not have. I worked about 70 hours a week (my job and blogging), trained 6 days a week for at least 90 minutes, and the other spare time was spent creating new content such as recipes or research, running errands, taking care of my home, etc. I was consumed by nonstop duties and tasks. 

It was hard work and exhausting, but I will admit, it was very rewarding. Around the beginning of October, however, I was became extremely burned out with it all. I was losing my passion rapidly.

Along with my decreasing passion and burnout with all things "work" related, I started to "hurt" more. I felt something was physically wrong with me. As time went by, my symptoms grew worse and worse. I had no idea what was wrong, and apparently my doctors and specialists did not either.

Over the past 3 months, I have been to more doctor and specialists appointments than I care to share. It took many sleepless nights, horrible pain, a misdiagnosis, three unsuccessful medications, and two re-diagnosis's to finally figure out what the hell was going on. The money I have spent and will continue to spend is astounding and quite disheartening at 25 years old. 

But I am finally feeling better. I am finally, finally, feeling like myself again. I am able to smile... feel simple pleasures, be motivated... dream. 

For the past few months I have been void of all of that. That is how much pain I was in; both mentally and physically. I have literally been on my new medication for a little over a week, so my finally feeling like "me" again is very recent.  I am not ready to share everything that went on with my health, yet. Maybe I will sometime because I am so close with my readers... well, I am positive I will once I fight through it more, but just know it has absolutely been a hard battle for me over the past few months. It affected every part of my life. 

Since I started my blog, I have written a LOT about my job. 

I work a lot and I love what I do. It is not my passion like writing is, but I do love my role as an Office Manager and in Human Resources. Since I started at my company, I have really tried to prove myself. I have, but it has been very tiring... I have written about that a lot as well. 

It paid off, though. I received a promotion at the beginning of the year. That was fantastic, but I work a lot more. My "break time" or  "down time" at work is nonexistent, and even when I get home a lot of days, I work. 

Devoting that much time to my job on top of my health issues took a lot out of me. I was not very happy or optimistic... I was simply trying to get through the days. I felt like I had nothing to give anyone, which is part of the reason why I did not blog. 

Thankfully now, I have established a productive routine and can handle my increased workload and stress better. I also have wonderful co-manager's who let me know how appreciated I am -- their small gestures lately have meant the world to me.

Additionally, a couple of weeks ago I created and implemented my company's first ever new employee orientation program! I completed the project alone; down to every last little detail (see the setup on bottom left corner) and that was a very proud moment for me!

I have been with boyfriend Johnathan over 4 months now. It feels like a lifetime, though. We have been through so much together. He has stood beside of me through everything with my health and job. He has stayed up with me all night when I was in pain-- even though he would have to work the next day. He would take me to appointments, stay the entire time, pick up medicines... there was nothing he would not do-- and does not do for me. 

He is my best friend and my love. We have so much fun together and are constantly silly and laughing. To me, that is one of the best parts of being with him. Because life is not just about me, and I actually get to share it with a partner, I am on the go more. I do not sit with my laptop every evening and write. To be frank, it felt great to not do that, too. It has given me a chance to miss writing. It has provided me new ideas and new experiences. 

J and I fell hard, and we fell fast. We have had a lot of ups, downs, twists, and turns in our 4 months, but everyday gets better and is more fantastic. We have made a home together, He makes me feel adored... like a queen. I feel like the most beautiful woman who ever lived. I love the way he loves me, and I am so very excited for our future together. Like I have said before, the year of being single (which included a lot of heartache and loneliness) was completely worth it as it led me to this point in life.

Aside from my health, work, and relationship, my father's health has been steadily declining, and at a rapid pace. My friends and readers know my family has been through hell with his cancer over the past 4 years. It has been the craziest rollercoaster of good news/bad news, and now it is finally coming to an end. That has been hard to accept. My father's fear and pain have kept me up many nights. Trying to accept the fact that he will never walk me down the aisle at my wedding or hold a grandchild is harder to process than I thought it would be. 

I have finally reached a place where I am more accepting of what is to come, but the pain is still there. I have kept my family at an even more top priority because of this-- especially since I live nearly 3 hours away. 

From here...

Finally, for a few days now, I am becoming the woman I was before. I feel like myself again. I am back to having energy, feeling motivated, and working hard with a smile on my face. I have said before that "finding balance" is an immense struggle for me, but I am going to work on that.

Now that I am feeling that myself again and normal (I never knew how amazing just feeling "normal" could be), I am ready to get back in my routine fitness training and healthy eating. My life is very different now, so it is a brand new life for me to write about! Admittedly, I have gained about 15 pounds since October so I am back at 45 pounds to lose, but that excites me. It totally sucks when I see myself nude though, ugh. However, I welcome the challenge. I now need to make my weight loss a priority on top of a partner and demanding job. It's brand new material to write about and a new journey to take. 

I plan on being back to this blog-- I am just going to ease my way into it. I hope if you are reading this, you will stay and follow along this journey with me. I always say "we are in this together" and I mean it. Your guys comments, messages, and emails truly keep me going and mean the world to me. 

See you soon!

PS: I am getting highlights this weekend. (Oh yeah, Fitness Blondie is coming back -- literally! Ha!)

PPS: My two contact emails listed on my blog are down right now and have been for a while now (from what I know). Please email me at TaylorLizAnne@yahoo.com if you would like to say hello or have a question/comment.

Weekend Recap: Fitness Blondie NO MORE?!?!

I was never happier to be off of work on Friday on ready to start the weekend. Last week was all around a crazy, nonstop, "Murphy's Law", type of week and I needed a break and downtime. 

When I got off of work, J and I went and ran some errands. I had a Japanese Bubble Tea (Mango) with tapioca pearls and it was fantastic. Years ago I had them often, but I have not seen a place that sells them in a long time. Thus when I spotted a stand in the mall, I had to have one. 

I got some frames and pictures made while we were out so I could put them up through the apartment. I think they fit perfectly and are a great addition.

Friday night, J and I went to my best friend's house so she could do my hair. She has a salon setup in her basement so it makes getting my hair done a lot more fun. The goal? Black with red lowlights. As always she did a fantastic job and I love the new look. Also while doing my hair we had a little bonfire.

Saturday was a beautiful day in Charlotte with mild weather in the upper 50's and lower 60's. We took full advantage. I enjoyed a long job on the Greenway, cleaned my apartment with music blasting, and the windows open, and J and I scored our latest "dumpster" find.

Remember on my last blog post about the table we scored from my neighbor throwing his house? Well, another neighbor was throwing out this gorgeous mahogany table and said I could have it. It needs a little work on one of the drawers, but it's perfect other than that. I am going to play this week to find the perfect spot for it. 

Later in the afternoon, I got ready, and of course I took lots of selfies of my new hair.

Once we were ready, we went to our friends Justin and Jodi's house for homemade fondue. It was a lot of fun making it at home instead of going to "The Melting Pot". If you read my blog you know I love "The Melting Pot" and eat there often, but it gets expensive. Homemade fondue was not only delicious, but really fun. It's a great way to host a dinner party. I am definitely going to be investing in a fondue pot now.

After we left Justin and Jodi's we came back to my apartment. I had been telling Johnathan that I wanted to make a shot glass holder out of an old baseball bat case that he has that was not being used. Since it was still kind of early and we had energy, he got to work and did it. I think it's super fun and adds a lot to the bar and dining area.

Yesterday was another beautiful day so J and I spent the day out with his friend Sean and his friend Jinny. 

We all had lunch, went to see "American Sniper" (which was phenomenal. We even had to advance purchase our tickets due to all of the shows being sold out!) and I earned my free movie ticket (yay), and did some shopping. 

Of course I had to take a few more selfies. (Don't judge me. OK, you can if you want because it's a little absurd; just try to look past it). 

When we finally got home from the day, I made the most delicious broiled Ribeye and pasta salad, I kicked his butt on the Wii, and then we called it a night. Now, time to finish this work day...